


I Roam My Fantasy

by FlooChan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dark, Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Love, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-03-30 20:23:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3950497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlooChan/pseuds/FlooChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was inspired by a few other works to write this! Those who did inspire me: You're awesome!</p><p>I wanted to escape my dull reality. God has a sense of humor, it seems and he granted my wish - I now live in Thedas, in the fantasy world I wished to. It's hard, but I love it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This Chapter is sort of a prologue, so it's short. Next chapters will be longer ^^ The story is of my OC in DA:I world, like some others that I read and was inspired by them ^^ Story follows my DA playthroughs with Sheyla Amell, a mage Warden who is somewhere with Zevran. Zariah Hawke, Sheyla's cousin, sort of, a mage. She sided with the mages. And Andrielle, qunari mage. The details will be revealed further in the story! Enjoy :)

I open my eyes. My body feels heavy and my vision is blurry. What... happened? Where am I? The brown cloth above me didn't look like the white ceilings of my house... I try to get up but I feel dizzy, so I lower my body back to the bed... or a cot, as it seems. I look around my surroundings. It seemed like a tent of sorts. Wooden crates filled with vials and herbs... furs beside me and on me. I furrow my brow. This all seemed vaguely familiar... but I couldn't pin it down. I exhale loudly and try to sit up again. I still feel dizzy, but it's better now, I can remain sitting. My body is screaming at me though, hurting and aching, begging to lie down, though I ignored it. Where was I? Was this another of their sick jokes..? I hope not, but what else could it be?

" _Aching, hurting, just want to lie down and sleep, but can't, Must know where, must know why._ " A voice, painfully familiar to me startles me out of my brooding. My head snaps towards the figure now standing to me left. My body obviously disagrees with my movement -- my vision darkens and I feel like I'll throw up, my heart begins to beat like nuts and I feel my breath go out of control. I'm panicking. A panic attack.  
"Cole." I manage to gasp out before my breathing becomes to fast for me to even speak. I can't understand what he's saying, everything is blurry, I feel weak. I try to remember the tips my psychologist has told me, how to relax... it's hard, but I try, no matter how dizzy I am. "Try to steady your breathing, try to think about happy things, try to relax." Happy. Happy... cats... yes... my kitties... Snowbell and Tali... my kitties...  
It takes a while, but I calm down. I'm out of breath but I'll live. I wipe the tears that managed to escape my eyes and look at him. "...You... are Cole." I whisper.  
Cole nods. "I am Cole." He confirms. I can see his mouth open in surprise, but his hat and bangs wouldn't let me see his face.  
"Cole... where am I?"  
"...Skyhold."  
"...really?" I ask and tilt my head. If this is a joke, it's a bad one. But... just in case I died and went to heaven, I pursue my questioning. "How did I get here?"  
"The Inquisitor found you..." The boy says, fidgeting a bit. I can't help but smile. I really hope this is really Cole.  
"...you... know me..." Cole says slowly and carefully.  
"Yes. You are Cole. A spirit. Once a demon... Ghost of the Spire. You're here to help." I say and smile. I really like Cole. He's a very interesting character, but now, to have him in front of me and stare at me is... odd... I feel happy... but strange as well. A weird presence... but comforting as well.  
He gasps in surprise.  
"Will you remember me?" He asks  
"I hope not." I reply, looking down at my arms. I sigh. "For whatever reason you came, Cole, go. My pain and hurt aren't going to heal... others need you more. Just... tell someone I'm awake? I am hungry... and your Inquisitor probably wants to see me, no?" I say. Even though I liked Cole in the game, I must keep my distance. Cole is still Cole. Uninterested in girls and all that.  
"But you have a lot of hurt... _you lie in bed, waiting for sleep, he comes--_ "  
"STOP!" I shriek and jump up, despite my dizziness and grab his arm. Cole is startled and staring at my hand, but stops reciting my thoughts. I feel the tears run down my cheeks. Dammit...  
"Just... don't..." I whisper and close my eyes.  
"I'm sorry..." He whispers and tugs his arm away. I let him. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable... I just didn't want to hear it. I can understand him, though. I, too, hate touching.  
"No, I... I know you want to help... but... that isn't helping, yeah?" I whisper and wipe my tears. "I'm Kat, by the way. Katherine." I tell him and smile.  
He looks baffled. Like he just saw something crazy and was trying to piece it together.  
"You smile... even though you hurt." He says, slowly, as if not sure if he had it right.  
"Yes." I nod. There was no need to lie to him. He could probably dig in my head anyways  
"...why?" He asks, this time, with curiosity.  
"Because seeing smiles helps people. If you see a smile, Cole, you feel better, yes? You know you don't need to help, that hurt is gone. A smile is better than a hurt..." I say. He nods slowly, but I can't tell if he understood what I meant.  
"...I'll tell the Inquisitor." He says and within the same moment, he was gone. Heh... so he really can do that... I sigh again and sit down on the cot. I'm still wearing my tank top and black jeans... I see my fluffy black zip-up hoody on the pile of furs. I frown once I see the bandage on my wrist. My eyes close. Huh. So I did die, then... Well... heaven's nice so far. Just cold... I'm really in Thedas then... my thoughts are soon interrupted by the flap of the tent raising and a tall Qunari coming in, with Cole right behind her.

"Greetings, Miss...Katherine?" She asks, eyes gentle, but weary.  
"Hello, Andrielle Adaar." I bow my head a bit. She seems shocked. Her head tilts and her red locks move to one side. Bah, her hair is messy as always.  
"Cole... told me that you knew him... and I see you know me as well... who are you?" She asks, curious, but still a bit weary.  
I'm quiet now. What should I tell them? I can't tell them I died and woke up here. They wouldn't believe it...  
"They would." Cole interrupts me. Adaar turns to him.  
"Cole, dear?" She asks, eyebrow raising.  
"...She died. Then came to us." Cole says, staring at me.  
"...Like you?" She asks, eyes still on Cole.  
Cole shakes his head. "She... lived somewhere else... I don't understand... She has a really big hurt, I can't see through it" He frowns a bit. "She is not here to harm... she wants to help." He adds.  
Andrielle looks at me. She looks unsure, but I know she trusts Cole's judgement. "Can you heal her hurt, Cole?" The Qunari asks.  
"...I tried. Said it wrong." Cole frowns a bit.  
"Do not make me forget, Cole." I whisper.  
I feel them both stare at me. I can't look at them. I just look at my fingers that rest in my lap.  
"Please let me stay, Inquisitor... I don't have anywhere else to go... I'm no warrior, no mage, no rogue... but I can help... somehow..." I whisper. Please please don't throw me out....  
"We won't..." Cole pipes in. Andrielle sighs and rubs her forehead.  
"If Cole says you're alright, I do not mind. Cole, dear, please see to her? You're the only one who can tell if she is bad or not and... well, you heal hurts. She's hurt." The Qunari says.  
The spirit boy tilts his head a bit, stares at me for a while and then slowly nods.  
"Alright..." He says. I feel relief. And dizziness...  
"Lie down, Katherine... We found you nearly bled out. You need to rest." Andrielle says, gently as she pushes me down on the cot.  
"You have pretty eyes..." I whisper to her. Her purple eyes lit up with amusement.  
"Thank you. Now sleep." She whispers. I feel the blankets cover me... nice... and warm... I close my eyes and let sleep consume me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story will continue in third person! Enjoy :)

Katherine slept the whole day. She woke up in the afternoon of the next one. Cole was there once she woke up. Andrielle trusted him to watch over, so he did. He listened to Kat's dreams... most of them were nightmares. Memories. She had a lot of hurt and that made Cole feel conflicted. He wanted to help, to ease the hurt, but he couldn't find any words that did. She would probably remember him trying to help, so he couldn't make her forget and try again. That frustrated him. Andrielle was also like that, but the Qunari didn't hurt like this tiny human did. He found himself studying her sleepy face. She was very pale, almost sickly so. She was also oddly curved. Her chest was generously rounded, her belly wasn't flat and her hips weren't very curvy, but her arms and legs were thin, barely skin bones. He heard the healer talk to Andrielle. "Deformation" he heard the healer say. Kat's ribs were a bit out of place. It wasn't serious, but it made her look a bit... odd. Cole didn't mind though. He was odd too. What amazed him the most was her hair. It was long, blonde and it smelt sweet. Like nothing he's ever smelt. He found himself playing with it... he felt the girls dreams turn to a happier place... an older woman brushing her hair... they looked similar, so Cole assumed that was Kat's mother.

Cole was still playing with the girl's hair once her eyes fluttered open. She looked around, sleepily, but aware of her surroundings. She glared a bit once she saw his fingers curling a strand between them.

  
"Please stop" she grumbled. "I don't like it."

  
"...why? Your mother did it too... you liked it..." Cole said, his piercing blue eyes staring into her cold gray ones. She sighed.

  
"That... was a long time ago, Cole." Kat said and smiled sadly. "Thank you, for watching over me." She said.

  
Cole nodded. He was still confused, though. Why did she thank him, though he did nothing? Why did the fond memory didn't matter anymore?

  
"Cole? I am hungry..." Kat said. He saw her cheeks lit up with red. He couldn't hear her thoughts anymore. Was she hiding them? Why?

  
"Andrielle said to bring you to her once you woke up." Cole said, standing up.

  
"I see. Okay." The girl nodded and sat up. She reached for her hoody and got it on. She was cold, he could tell. The hoody made her smile though. It looked a bit old... was it a fond memory? He wished he could know, but there was only a silent, sad song coming from her. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Where will we find Andrielle?" Kat asked.

  
"She's in Western Approach."

"Oh. That's far." She frowned. "Cole... I'll need to eat before she comes back." She said.

"Oh." Cole said and stared. He didn't know what to do. Andrielle didn't tell him. But Varric would know. He was sure of it. So he jumped on his feet and ran off to the said dwarf heard Kat call out to him, but that will wait. Cole ran up the stairs to the main hall, to the table where Varric always was. He was writing. Cole didn't want to disturb. So he stood next to Varric's chair and watched the dwarf write. He soon heard a sigh and Varric turned his head.

  
"Something you need, kid?" He asked.

  
"Kat is hungry."

  
"Cat? What cat?"

  
"Kat. Katherine." Cole elaborated.

  
"Ahh. Kat. That Kat. The girl Mess left you to babysit?"

  
"Not babysit. Watch over."

  
The dwarf snorted. "Not much difference there, kid." he said. Then stood up. "Alright, alright, let's go get her some food." He said and walked to the kitchen.

Cole followed the dwarf, curious. He watched as Varric convinced the cook to give Varric some food for a poor wounded girl. The cook didn't believe him, but agreed anyway. Cole was glad. He didn't like to steal. Andrielle hit his head with her staff when he did. It hurt. He subconsciously rubbed the spot on his head.

"Come, kid, before they throw us out." The short man said and walked to the tents of the infirmary. Cole showed him the tent Kat should have been in but... there was no sign of her. He frowned. Did she leave? Or maybe she wasn't real... no. Cole was sure she was. He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to find that sad song she sung, the song that called out to him. But instead he found fear. The same kind of fear he felt once she heard his voice. Panic.

He ran. He ran up the stairs on the battlements, hearing Varric shout something to him, but he had to run. He found Kat on the battlement, looking down, breathing fast, too fast. Her consciousness was slipping, as the breathing made her weak. He didn't know what to do. He searched her thoughts, frankly, searching for something that would help him. So many hurts attacked him, he wanted to heal them all and then he found something.

He gulped and steeled his nerves. He had to do it. Quick, before she got hurt. Sighing, he wrapped his arms around her figure, awkwardly. The girl gasped looked at him. She didn't really understand who, why or what... she just buried her face in his chest. The embrace was awkward and though Cole expected his skin to crawl, it wasn't that bad... maybe because he felt her relax, healing a hurt? But... it felt nice. Comforting, but new. Kat soon relaxed. He let go of her.

  
"You are scared of heights." Cole said. It wasn't a really question. But Kat answered anyways.

  
"Yes. When I was a kid, I fell out of a tree." She said. Cole thought a bit. But didn't reply.

  
"There you are, kid." Varric said. He then looked at Kat, who was still grasping Cole's shirt.

  
"Lady, listen, I don't think you're his type." He smirked.

  
Kat blinked and quickly pulled away, flustered. Cole tilted his head.

  
"Not my type? What is my type?" he asked.

  
"You remember telling Chuckles that you didn't feel interest towards girls?" Cole nodded.

"Well, if you don't like girls, she's notyour type." Varric said.

"Oh." Cole said and was quiet.

  
"Well, Katherine. I'm Varric Thetras. Member of the merchant's guild--"

  
"It's not your fault." Kat interrupted him. Varric blinked.

  
"Care to elaborate?"

  
"Blondie. What he did... you couldn't have helped him. He does it, no matter how things play out." Kat said and looked down.

  
Varric's eyes widened and then narrowed.  
"Are you like the kid?" He asked.

  
"No." Came the reply from both of them. The dwarf glanced at the spirit then at the girl.

  
"I can't explain how I know. You wouldn't understand. But I know... please believe me when I say it couldn't have been changed. Vengeance changed him. He didn't get better. Cole did... but he didn't."

  
Cole was quiet. "He was like Envy. He didn't want to change." He said

  
"Yes." Kat agreed.

  
Varric rubbed his forehead. Great. Now two people would talk in riddles.

  
"I am sorry for blurting that out, Ser Thetras. I am Katherine, Katherine Moelle. I'm pleased to meet you." The girl said with a polite bow. The dwarf laughed. Maybe the girl wasn't that bad.

  
"Call me Varric, Riddle. And no bowing, I'm not the Inquisitor." he said.

  
Kat tilted her head.  
"Riddles?" she asked, her lips forming a small pout.

  
"I think it fits you. You're like a riddle. And talk in riddles." He said.

  
Kat chuckled. Cole's smile didn't go unnoticed by the small man.

  
"Come, Riddles. Let's get inside, out of the cold and talk. I'm curious about you."

  
"Do not make me a book..." she sighed but followed the dwarf, lured by the aroma of food.  
Cole lingered on thebattlements before he followed. Kat genuinely laughed. She was happy. Did Varric make her happy? Or did talking? Cole didn't know. Didn't understand. But he will investigate. And he will heal the hurt she had, of that, he was sure.

~ ~ ~

Cole, Kat and Varric had a lot of fun. They laughed and smiled. Cole could tell that Varric was sorry for the girl. Like he was with Cole. He wanted to help the girl. Cole liked that.

As for Kat, her bad memories were somewhere far away. Once she talked, she was happy, without any hint of the pain he felt earlier, but he knew it was still here. He could still hear the silent sad song. He even hummed it for a bit. To his surprise, Kat hummed along. Could she hear it too? No... she couldn't have. But she obviously knew the melody.

Varric was confused, though.

"What's gotten into you two?" his brow furrowed.

"Ah... sorry. I like his melody. Cole? How do you know it?" Kat's eyes lit up with confusion and curiosity.

" _sad, lonely, beaten and broken, she cries. Smiles when someone sees her. Laughs just to laugh. She sings a sad song._ " Cole whispered.

Varric looked sad. "I'm sorry, Riddles." He whispered.

"Ah... I sing it then? Sorry to bother you, Cole." Kat smiled, genuinely apologized.

Cole frowned. "Why? You know I want to heal that hurt." He said, confused. If she understood, then, why didn't she? It confused him to no end.

"Cole... I told you before... you can't heal my hurt... so it bothers you... I don't want to bother you... or anyone." Kat said, gentle, but sad smile on her face.

Cole opened his mouth to argue further, but Varric interrupted him. "Kid... let Riddles be. She will let you help her when she's ready. Humans need time, remember?" he said.

Cole frowned. He remembered, yes. But he didn't understand. If she was hurting, why didn't she want it healed right away. But Varric said he had to.. so he will. "

Alright..." he said, reluctantly, like a pouty child.

"Thank you, Cole. I promise you, once... once I am ready... I will talk to you about it... will let you try to heal it." Kat said, gently.

Cole nodded slightly. That made him feel better. Kat as well. She was relieved that Cole wouldn't try to make her talk. He wouldn't have... but she didn't know that.

"Varric? Was Hawke good in Wicked Grace?" Kat asked, once she sat back down in her cot.

The dwarf laughed. "oh boy, she was. She won almost every game we played at the Hanged Man. The was a good liar, convincing as fuck." He said, smiling at the fond memories.

It made Cole happy. Varric also had a sad song to him. He liked that Kat made him smile. But their conversation was cut short by a healer that came to see Kat.

He allowed the Dwarf and spirit stay while he cleaned Kat's wound. They both watched as the healer unwrapped the bandages from the girl's wrist.

The dwarf felt his blood freeze. Her whole wrist was covered in cuts, ones very old that were just scars and others recent, very deep. They did find her almost dead from blood loss... he didn't realize that the bloodloss was caused by her own hands.

Kat fidgeted. She was embarrassed. Ashamed. She expected Varric to scold her... tell her a whole lecture about how bad it was to hurt herself. She focused on the healer who was applying a salve on her wounds. She shuddered, winced and flinched in pain, but endured.

"He will not." Cole whispered. Kat glanced at him. the girl smiled sadly at him and nodded a bit.

"I won't what?" Varric's eyes narrowed.

"Scold her." Cole said.

The dwarf sighed. "Look, Riddles. It's not right. No. But the kid mentioned a bit... and by the looks of it, you really had a reason to do so. I won't pour salt on the wounds. You're alright, girl. And you're with us now. Me and the kid will watch out for you. Mess, too. She might not admit it yet, though."

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Mess?"

Varric laughed. "Our Inquisitor. She has the messiest hair I've ever seen. She's messy in general." He said.

Kat giggled and nodded. She could see that, yes. Andrielle the Mess. It made her laugh. The healer scolded her though, asking her to be still. She apologized and remained still, watching the healer bandage her arm up. She thanked the good man as he was leaving.

Cole smiled. It made the man feel better. Appreciated. Kat knew that. He didn't know how, her mind was once again protected, unlike the time on the battlements, where she panicked. He made a mental note that panic makes him hear her hurts. "

Let's go, kid." Varric's whispering suddenly reached Cole. He blinked and looked up. Kat was already asleep in her cot. Varric quietly explained that the healer secretly mixed some sleeping medicine into her drink. She needed the rest, he said. Cole agreed. But he didn't want to leave.

"Andrielle said I need to watch her..." he said. Varric scratched his chin.

"Alright, kid. Come to me once she's awake, though. She'll be hungry... and we can introduce her to others." Varric said.

Cole nodded and looked at the sleeping girl. He closed his eyes and listened to her dreams, gently influencing the fade to give her happy dreams. He learned of her mother. She was a young and kind woman, like a sister to Kat. But she was also ignorant. She didn't understand her pain. Didn't understand her sadness. Kat wished to be understood by mother.

So he made the dream fulfill that wish. The fade shifted a bit and the spirits made the image of her mother understand. Kat smiled in her sleep and it made Cole happy.

He stayed at her side all night. Listening, helping. He learned of her night terrors later on. He was even more glad to help her sleep. Sleep was important to the people, Andrielle told him. And if Kat was to meet Blackwall, Leliana, Cullen, Josephine, Solas, Dorian and... Vivienne, she'll need the strength.

He couldn't help but shudder once he thought about Vivienne. They were in for a very, very long day tomorrow...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Kat met Varric. Next: Inner circle that is not with Andrielle in the Approach (Sera, Bull and Cassandra are away ;) )


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat meets Solas and Dorian.

Cole knew she was going to wake up before she actually did. Her dreams stopped and her breathing was no longer as steady. He looked at the girl who was now stirring under the furs, mumbling words he couldn't really make up. But she was waking up and Varric told the spirit to tell him when she did. So... he did. He stood up and dusted his pants off. He had been sitting cross-legged next to her cot the whole night. His legs were a bit stiff, but it didn't bother Cole much. He didn't matter, he thought.  
The lanky rogue left the tent before Kat reached full consciousness. He made sure that the tent's flap was closed right, so she wouldn't get cold before he strode up the stairs, to the main hall of the massive keep. It was still early, not many people were out. He hoped Varric was already awake. Cole didn't like waking people up. Andrielle had hit his head with her staff when he did. Again. It hurt...

  
But to the spirit's relief, the said dwarf was already sitting at his table, looking at letters, pondering. Cole didn't want to disturb the dwarf. He was about to sit down on the table and wait till Varric noticed him, but he needn't too. Varric saw the boy right away and a grin spread on his lips.

  
"Hey, kid. How's our friend?" He asked.

  
"She's waking up. She slept well... I helped. The fade was nice to her." He said, a small smile creeping onto his lips. He liked to help. But he felt confused once he saw the dwarf look a bit... startled. The spirit tilted his head.  
"Nothing, forget it." Varric waved his hand, not wanting to explain why he felt disturbed. He was a dwarf and had no connection to the fade, he couldn't understand it as it was and he really didn't want to start a discussion about it. Maker knows, Chuckles would come and then he would never hear the end of it. "Let's go to Riddles." He said, slipping off his chair and made his way out of the hall.

  
Cole happily jumped off the table and followed the dwarf. The stubby rogue said they would introduce Kat to others. The Iron Bull, Cassandra and Sera were away with Andrielle, so that left less people for her to meet, but surely it wouldn't be easy. Especially not with Madame de Fer. He shuddered from the thought. The mage hated Cole. The spirit didn't mind, though - he didn't matter and knew Vivienne was afraid... but it bothered him that she hated many of them, his friends, like Solas. Solas didn't deserve her hatred...

  
Lost in his thoughts, Cole bumped into Varric that suddenly stopped. He cried out in surprise and fell on his bottom, his hat flying off his head. A giggle reached his ears. He looked up to see Kat already awake and standing just in front of Varric. The girl leaned down and picked his hat up and then offered him a hand, to help him stand up.

  
Cole tensed up a bit. He didn't like touching. He wished to hide under his hat, but even it was in the hands of the sad song singing girl. He gulped slightly and took her hand. He didn't need it to stand up... but it would have hurt her if he hadn't taken it. The girl pulled a bit, helping Cole lift his weight back on his feet. Before he could complain or pull his hand though, the touching stopped and his hat plopped back in his head.

  
"You shouldn't day-dream, Cole. Falling down the stairs would have hurt." She said, gently.

  
Varric snickered a bit. "Well, if you're coming this way, we could introduce you to Chuckles and Sparkler. They're the easier lot to know. Kind of."

  
"...Surely easier than..." Kat said and then gulped. "the scary lady." She added in a whisper.

  
Cole gasped. Last time he called Vivienne that, she almost burned his hat. He whimpered and held onto it, as if afraid that she did hear it and would actually do it this time. But all that came was laughter from the dwarf and Kat.

  
"She doesn't like it when you call her that..." Cole whispered, looking around, still a bit scared.

  
"I know, Cole. Do not worry, she will not hurt you. She knows better than to hurt "the darling pet of the Inquisitor"." Kat said, dramatically putting her hand on her chest, trying to imitate the said mage.

  
Varric laughed. "Good one, Riddles." he said and patted Kat's back. The girl tensed up a bit. It went unnoticed by the dwarf, but not by Cole. She did say she didn't like touching. Did it bother her just like it bothered him? But he saw her relax a bit and smile at Varric.

  
"I live to serve." She said and made a mock bow.

  
Cole's head tilted a bit. "You do not live to serve... you're not a servant..." He said.

  
Kat chuckled. "No, Cole, I do not." She agreed.

  
"Alright, let's go inside. I can see you shiver, Riddles." Varric said and turned around, making his way back to the keep.

  
"Oh, shucks, I thought you wouldn't notice." Kat said and turned to follow him, but stopped once she saw Cole stare. "Are you coming, Cole? I know Solas is your friend and I'd feel safer if you are there with me to meet him." She said, smiling gently.  
Cole stared at her for a while. He wished that the sad, gentle song she sung was as happy as her smile. But it wasn't... and he was not allowed to try to heal the hurt that made it sad. He then nodded.

  
"Riddles, Kid, come on!" Varric called out from the top of the stairs.

  
"Coming!" Kat said and turned around, skipping up the steps.

Cole followed her, not as enthusiastic, but just as fast. His mind was still filled with questions, how, why, when... all spinning around the sad song. He didn't like waiting. Of that, he was sure.  
They entered Solas's room together. Kat instantly looked around, going 'wow' as she studied the painted walls. Solas raised an eyebrow at the odd trio. He closed the book he was reading and placed it gently on his desk, before he stood up and crossed his arms behind his back.

  
"Greetings. You must be Katherine, the girl we found." Solas said.

  
"Hello, Pride." She replied. The room went silent.

  
Varric's brow furrowed in confusion.

  
Cole and Solas both looked shocked. Cole had to cover his mouth, to muffle the gasp that escaped his lips. Solas was the first one to slip his mask of nonchalance.  
"Ah. I have heard that you seem to know much. I must admit, it is quite interesting."

  
"...I know what you did, Solas. Small and round. You were weak after you awoke." Kat said, eyes boring into Solas, as if trying to see through him. Solas was nervous, Cole could tell. Cole was quiet. He wasn't supposed to tell anyone about his secret. Nobody was. He was about to say something before Kat interrupted.

  
"I will tell no one, Cole. Do not fret. I just want to know, Pride... if you regret it." Kat said, gentler, but he could pick up her anger.

  
Solas was frowning. He was silent for a few moments before sighing. "I do." He said.

  
Kat smiled. She approached the elf, who was about her height, but at least double her age. "I forgive you, Solas. This world would not, but I would." She said.

  
Cole could feel mixed feelings come from his apostate friend. Comfort, sadness, shock. But it was quickly tucked away from the spirit.

  
"Thank you, Katherine." He said, as he returned to his usual stance.

 

"Andraste's great flaming ass, what just happened here?" Varric asked, completely confused.

  
"It's a secret." Cole mumbled.

  
"You know it too?" The dwarf asked.

  
The boy merely nodded. "Yes."

  
"You know what, something tells me I don't want to know. Good on you kids." He said, rubbing his forehead, earning a chuckle from the girl.

  
"I hope I didn't give you a bad impression of me, Solas. But I am assume you got used to it, having spent time with Cole. I wish to know you a bit better and let you know me, if you do not mind." Katherine said, politely bowing her head.

  
Solas smirked a bit. "You can be well mannered, it seems. Alright. I don't mind to know more about you, young lady. You seem very interesting." He said.

  
"I hope that was a compliment." Kat makes an unlady-like snort. Solas looked a smug but didn't not answer. But Kat was not expecting an answer anyways.

  
"Shall we get seated in the garden? I do not have proper equipment to get you all seated. I assume you are staying as well, Cole, Child of the Stone." Solas looked at the two men who guided Katherine to him. Cole nodded without hesitation. Kat asked him to come.

  
Varric scratched the back of his neck. "Look, if you are going continue to talk in riddles and cryptic sentences, I'm leaving. But a garden is not a good idea. Riddles doesn't like the cold." He said

  
Solas nodded. "Ah, yes. We found her nearly bled out. Naturally, with a lower amount of blood in her system, she is susceptible to the cold air of Skyhold." He spoke.

  
Varric muttered something under his breath, but didn't argue.

  
"Please, do not make a fuss. I can stand." Kat assured.

  
Cole seemed to be in favor of staying in the mage's room. He climbed up on the little platform and sat on the edge, letting his legs tangle as he sat. Solas nodded mentally. He pushed his chair towards the young girl and seated himself on his desk.

  
"That isn't necessary, Solas..." Kat said, frowning as she looked at the chair.

  
"Nonsense. Do not exert yourself, Katherine. You are still healing." The elf waved his hand, dismissing the issue.

 

Though troubled, the girl sat down, deciding not to argue further."So, Solas... ask away. I'm sure you're curious."  Kat said and smiled. She probably was ready for the most obvious questions, who she was, where did she come from... but surprisingly, none of that came. 

 

"Are you not frightened of Cole?" He asked. 

 

Kat blinked. She mentally cursed herself for not expecting usual questions from Solas, but her smile soon returned. "I am not. He is not here to help. He is here to help. He was a demon once. He is not anymore." She said.

 

"A wise answer. I'm glad you are more open to the idea than many of us here. Cole is a benevolent being, here to help ease the suffering." Solas said, nodding slightly

 

"I like helping." Cole said, letting his legs swing back and forth.

 

"We know you do, kid." Varric said, smiling a bit.

 

"do not fret about those who are mistrustful towards him. In time, they will care for him, though they will never admit it." Kat said, smiling gently. 

 

"I hope that becomes true." Solas replied, seemingly pleased.

 

"That makes two of us, Chuckles." Varric said. 

 

"I thought I heard chatter here! Ah, and here she is, the mysterious lady we found unconscious at the Skyhold gate." Dorian entered the room, curling his mustache.

 

"Sparkler! Good timing. We were going to visit you next. " Varric said.

 

"Oh? leaving this handsome stud for second, are we? I am hurt!" Dorian tsk'd and dramatically placed his hand over his heart.

 

"You will succeed, Dorian. You are planting a seed. Care for it, watch it grow... you might not see the tree, but others will come just to see it..." Kat said.

 

Dorian raised an eyebrow."Whatever are you talking about?" He asked, slight confusion obvious on his face. 

 

"Tevinter. You might not live to see it though. It takes time..." Kat said.

 

The Necromancer's eyes widened for a split second, but then lit up with amusement. 

"You're really something, huh?" he grinned a bit.

 

"She's not a thing..." Cole said, frowning a bit.

 

"Still haven't gotten the hang of figures of speech? No matter, we'll just have to teach you." Dorian sighed a bit. He then sat down on the desk, closer to Kat, much to Solas annoyance, but the flamboyant mage didn't seem to care."So, tell me, where are you from?" He asked

 

Kat smiled sheepishly. 

"Not from around here... yet I can't tell you where exactly... the place I come from has no fade, no magic, no magic, elves, dwarves, Qunari or demon... no spirits." the girl said.

 

"Fascinating!" The Tevinter exclaimed. 

 

"It must be a peaceful place, no mage-templar conflict." Solas commented, tapping his chin.

 

"I wish that were true, Solas. But we still war among each other. Other beliefs, skin color or just other thinking... Dorian, if you were in a wrong country in my world, they would jail you... execute you if you're unlucky..." Kat said and smiled sadly. 

 

"Oh? For what reason exactly?" Dorian seemed intrigued. 

 

"Your lover preferences. Do not misunderstand, I do not see the issue. I enjoy the company of both genders... but a very big amount of people still see it as an... illness." Kat said.

 

Dorian frowned a bit."I see. It sounds like a terrible place."

 

"It sure is..." Kat sighed.

 

"From the way you speak, you sound like you've seen this injustice with your own eyes." Solas looked at Kat, searching her face.

 

Cole winced. He felt Kat's quiet sad song become louder. 

 

"Yes. I have. " the girl sighed. "Though it's not much of a big issue. There are far worse ones. You might think it's silly." she said.

 

"Your hurt is real. It is not silly ." Cole said, his legs stopping their swinging. Everybody glanced at the spirit, who held the edge of the platform so tightly, his knuckles turned white.

 

"I think I speak for all of us, especially Cole, when I say that we wish to hear it anyways. If you are willing to tell." Solas said.

Dorian and Varric nodded, agreeing. 

"Sharing might make you feel better, Riddles." Varric said.

"Riddles?" Dorian asked and laughed. "Marvelous! " he commented. 

"Sparkler." Varric sighed.

"Yes. Katherine, was it? Do tell us your story." He directed his attention back to the young girl.

"It. is just a small portion of my story, not nearly as bad as the others... but... I guess I can tell. It's the only one I'm willing to... others hurt too much to... apologies." Kat said and exhaled.

"I was educated in a school, like many other kids. First few years were wonderful... I liked learning and everyone was friendly, understanding. I was used to watching, listening and comforting. saying my thoughts out loud. Nobody minded. it never cross my mind, that what I did was unusual. Eventually my family had to move, that meant going to a different school. Everything was different there... people, surroundings, thinking. At first they teased me for my hair color. Then it was my eerie eyes. The teasing turned worse. They began to push me around. Taking my things and breaking them. Hurting me with words... just because I was a bit different. Believed in different things... they began to hurt me, physically... they took stacks of books... hit me with them..." Kat whispered. Tears ran her cheeks.

Cole could feel how she wished to hide. She wanted to hide her tears, didn't want to show weakness. Cole understood that. He didn't like to be seen either. He thought of something. Quickly he jumped off the platform and approached the girl. He took his hat off and plopped it on Kat's head.

Kat blinked. All she suddenly saw, was the brown leather flaps of the oversized hat. She felt hidden... secure. 

"Thank you, Cole... it's not necessary..." she said, meekly.

"It's okay. The hat doesn't mind helping!" Cole said.

Solas, Varric and Dorian shared a look of sympathy. 

"For what it's worth, Katherine, I think it was wrong of them to ridicule you. You seem like a fine young woman. Holding onto your beliefs is no crime." Solas was the first to speak. 

"I agree. Thought I must say, that must have made you much stronger." Dorian nodded.

"Well, Riddles, now you're away from that. We don't mind you being different." Varric said.

 

Cole could see Kat smile, even though tears still rolled down her cheeks.

"Thanks guys. It helps to hear others say that." the girl said.

 

"That's what we're here for! Helping and killing." Varric said, chuckling. 

 

"We do a lot of killing." Cole said, nodding, making Dorian laugh.

 

"Come now, let's something to eat." He offered, strutting out of Solas's study. Varric agreed and followed the Tevinter. Solas soon followed after them, leaving Cole and Kat alone.

 

Kat was wiping her tears, sniffling a bit. Cole waited for her. He didn't eat, so he didn't mind. He knew Kat didn't want to be alone right now, even though she'd claim otherwise. Soon she rose up from the chair and pulled his hat off her head.

"Thank you, Cole." She whispered, gently petting his hair. Cole flinched but closed his eyes. It wasn't a bad touch. It was soft... Comforting. Then he felt his hat hide his head once more.

 

"Let's go, Cole. We shouldn't keep them waiting." She said. The spirit nodded and followed her out the room and to the table the three were sitting, already with food.

 

They talked about many things. Kat was fascinated by magic and the fade. She was no mage, but she saw it as something new to learn about. The men also found out that she had good reflexes and knew how to use a bow. It was decided that once Sera was back, she'd help to see just how good Kat was.

 

Cole smiled. He liked that Kat and the two mages got along. Her song wasn't all that sad anymore. Happier notes made it sound happier. He was glad. Maybe like this, he'll soon heal her hurt.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat meets Blackwall and a very unexpected guest...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapters contains mentions of rape. If you're not comfortable with that, please don't read it! <3

"Hero will sound like he bites, but you'll see, he won't." Varric said. He, Cole and Katherine were on their way to the stables with the intention to meet the Grey Warden Blackwall. 

"I know, Varric. But it is comforting to know you worry." Kat smiled and looked at the short man. "Have you adopted me too?" She asked, smirking playfully. 

Varric laughed. "If it makes you feel better, Riddles, sure." 

Kat smiled but shook her head. "I'll be fine. I would be considered a young adult, back home." She assured.

"Oh? How old are you then? I wouldn't give you a year past 16." Varric said. "Kid looks to be 20, but you know..." He added, not finishing the sentence. He glanced at the said young man.

Cole didn't mind though. He followed the two, watching them interact. He did vanish for some brief moments, most likely helping some hurt. Maker knows Skyhold had many.

"I will be 19 in... 3 months, last I checked..." Kat said. "I... am not sure how much time has past in the place I came from... do they count time differently? I can't say..." Kat shrugged.

"19? You're shitting me." The dwarf seemed skeptical. 

"...yes. I was born in the year we knew as 1996. And the year I... left that world was 2015." Katherine said, squinting. It was fuzzy for her to remember. Some parts were crystal clear... some foggy... it baffled her.

"Well. Shit. You look young." Varric said.

"I will take that as a compliment." the girl giggled slightly. They all stopped in front of the barn. Katherine could hear something, or well, someone inside, working. The sound from inside made her nostalgic. The noise of a knife cutting wood, like the time she used to play with kids. Sharpen the spears and play wild in the grove of pussy willows.

" _screaming and laughing, running in circles, pretending to hunt a tiger with sticks shaped like spears. 'Come on Neri!' she shouts. Just one slip and she's in the creak. All laugh as she climbs out of the knee-deep water, covered in mud._ " Cole recited her thoughts, completely zoned out as he viewed the memory. 

Kat chuckled. "She was mad about it." 

"You were all happy though. Even though she was dirty." Cole said, sounding happy himself.

"That she was. We all were. I miss her. Sadly I haven't seen her in years. I hope she is okay." Kat said.

"you sound like you had quite the adventures." Varric snorted. He found the whole story amusing. 

"Quite! My childhood was filled with stories! Some more embarrassing than others. I might tell you some if you treat me dinner." The girl winked and laughed, making the dwarf cackle along.

Their laughter didn't go unnoticed.  Blackwall came to the wide door of the barn and looked at the odd trio.

"Varric? Why are you and the thing here? Who is this? Is she the girl that the Inquisitor found?" He asked.

Kat frowned just a bit. "Mockingbird." she blurted out. Cole made a gasp and looked at her. 

Blackwall's  face turned pale. He swallowed hard. "what are you two on about with that song?" He feigned ignorance. 

"I didn't sing." Kat pointed out. Her frown eased to something more gentle.

"...she will find out... and she will forgive you" She assured. 

"She will?" Cole asked, perking up. 

"Yes. Did you doubt she would? Are we still talking about the same person, Cole?" Kat chuckled slightly. 

"Yes!....no...maybe?" Cole tilted his head, no longer so sure. 

Kat smiled gently. 

"She forgave you, did she not?" She asked. Seeing Cole nod slowly, as if he wasn't too sure about it, she continued. "So, she will forgive him as well."

"What are you two on about?" Varric sighed, rubbing his forehead. Each time they did this, it frustrated him to no end. Neither would tell him anything and he just knew there was a juicy story there.

Blackwall seemed to know what the younglings talked about, because his mouth shut into a thin line. "Are you sure?" He asked the girl, a bit desperately grabbing her arm.

Kat flinched and stared. Her breathing hitched and slowly ran out of control as she stared at the muscular arm that held her bicep. 

Cole winced, feeling all negative memories flowing to him. So much hurt, pain, despair surrounded him suddenly. He almost cried out. Varric was the one to act. "Back off, Hero. She doesn't like touchy." The dwarf said, shoving the Warden away from the hyperventilating girl.

" _Getting ready for bed when he comes in. 'Please go away' she thinks, but doesn't say it. She wants to scream as he pins her down, but not a sound comes--"_ Cole recited a memory, but it was cut off. The lanky rogue blinked, returning to reality, to see Varric pat Katherine's head. His face was twisted in disgust and sympathy to the trembling girl, whose breathing was slowly evening out. Blackwall also seemed to be disgusted... angry. The two men didn't need more details to know what has happened. They probably didn't even want to know more details.

"Sorry..." Kat whispered, as soon as her breathing returned to normal. She gently patted Varric's back, smiling gently at him. Then she turned to the older warrior. "I mean no offense, Blackwall, but I do not like touching..." She said, apologetic.

The warden sighed. "I am sorry, young lady, I shouldn't have grabbed you. But you do not need to worry... whatever that was done to you before... will never happen here. The Inquisitor and the Seeker wouldn't allow that. Cole, Varric... no one would allow it." The Warrior said.

Kat smiled slightly and nodded. "Thank you..."

"So you know already that she's staying, huh?" Varric asked, a bit amused.

"Lady Adaar left Cole in charge of her, did she not? Besides, we all know that the Inquisitor doesn't have the guts to throw the girl out. Or any girl really. She kept Cole too." Blackwall said.

Varric chuckled. "I suppose that's a fair point. The Inquisitor likes innocent things that might be dangerous, so it would seem." He said.

"You talk as if Cole and I were stray cats Andrielle just kept." Kat said, in a bit scolding way.

"I like cats. But they don't like me. They swat at my feet, even though no one can see me." Cole said.

"I used to have two cats. They always slept cuddled up with me in my bed. I miss them both." Kat sighed.

"You miss cats more than your family." Cole's head tilted, curious.

"Yes. I was not on good terms with my family... and I just trust animals more. Maker knows, animals never will turn against you. The same can't be said for many people." Kat muttered.

"I'll agree in that, Riddles." Varric said.

Blackwall nodded slightly in agreement.

"I like animals!" Cole said, happily. Kat chuckled.

"Same. I've never seen a nug though." she said.

"You're shitting me." Varric said, skeptical.

"I'm serious! We have no nugs in my country..." the girl exclaimed

"Well, you sure didn't miss a whole much. Nugs are odd creatures." Blackwall said, not very pleased.

"They're always happy... " Cole said.

"Do they really nuzzle your hands?" Kat asked the spirit, eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Yes! They do that to call you friend!" The rogue exclaimed, just as excited.

"That must be so awesome! It sounds absolutely adorable!" She squealed a bit.

Varric chuckled, gentle smile tugging at his lips. He was glad to see the younglings have fun... see the girl smile. Even though they were talking about nugs. He couldn't understand the fascination, but what did it matter? It made them smile and forget their sorrow, even if it's just for a short time. They needed such moments now. Perhaps now more than ever.

 

 

~~~

 

The meeting with Blackwall didn't take long. The Warden was a man of a few words, so it got awkward quickly. Varric excused the group, saying they had "places to go, people to meet". The Warrior didn't mind. The unlikely trio could tell that Blackwall was relieved to see them go. Kat thought it was probably due to her or Cole... but she couldn't tell for sure.

The group headed to Cullen's office next. Varric kept saying that "Curly" might be a bit odd at first, but that he was an okay guy. Just needed a hobby.

Little did Varric know that Kat knew Cullen already... since his days in Fereldan Circle... his love for a certain Amell... but she smiled and nodded anyways. Something told her that Cole was confused. Could he hear her thoughts? Was she loud? He would fidget or tilt his head from time to time, but otherwise remained quiet.

Varric knocked on the wooden door to the ex-templar's room. 

"Curly? You there? I brought the girl Inquisitor brought with her last time." He said, but got no response. 

"Andrielle brought me?" Kat asked, her brow furrowing. She never did get the full story on how she got here. 

" _Cold, shivering, barely alive, bloody wrists. Maker, she's so young. We must get her back, must help her survive. Thank the Maker Cole found her._ " Cole closed his eyes and recited another memory. "I felt your hurt. We found you near Skyhold... Andrielle was very worried." Cole said.

"With good reason. Honestly? I owe Bull a sovereign. I said you probably wouldn't make it. Bull said something "she looks like a fighter". He doesn't know yet just how right he was." Varric snorted. "Anyways, it seems like Curly isn't here. That's odd. He is always here, working. Maybe he finally got a hobby?" The dwarf snorted.

"You do not think that..." Cole said. 

"I don't think he's the hobby type, Kid." the dwarf said.

"I should ask him to play chess with me." Kat mused.

"You can play chess?" Varric asked.

"Yes." Both young adults responded at the same time. Kat giggled.

Varric squinted. "Hold on, kid, **you** can play **chess**?"

"Yes?" Cole tilted his head. "Is that a bad thing?" 

"No... I just didn't expect you to be the chess type, considering... you know what, never mind." The dwarf said, sighing. 

"Rhys used to play with you... before he stopped visiting you..." Kat said.

Cole looked sad. "Yes..." he nodded, his head lowering, so he would remain hidden beneath his hat.

"If you want, Cole... I can play chess with you?" the girl offered, hopefully. She was sad. She didn't mean to make Cole sad... she cursed herself innerly. Did Cole feel like this when he accidentally hurt people? "I'm sorry Cole... you're not the only one that says things wrong... I can't try again though..." Kat whispered.

"It's okay...like me, you didn't mean to hurt. You wanted to help." He replied and looked up. He didn't look as sad... maybe he was relieved, to see someone that was a bit like him.

"Get a room, you two." The dwarf snorted.

Kat's cheeks turned pink. She quickly averted her eyes, while Cole tilted his head.

"Why would we need a room?" He asked.

Varric snickered. "you'll learn soon enough, kid." he said.

"Don't teach him that!" Kat exclaimed, frowning a bit. "

He has to learn eventually! Or are you like Chuckles 'it will corrupt him into a demon!' " the dwarf tried to imitate the bald elf, making the girl snort.

"Hardly. Cole can be human if he wishes to. I'm just saying that... maybe it's not yet time to explain... reproduction..." she said, reluctantly, making the dwarf smirk.

Cole tilted his head. "What do you mean by reproduction, Katherine?" he asked.

"Andraste's great flamming balls..." Kat blurted out and groaned.

Varric laughed. He wasn't sure what was funnier, her expression or that thing she said.

"You won't tell me?" He looked disappointed."Why not?"

"Hey.... why don't you ask Dorian that? He said you could ask questions!" Kat said.

The spirit beamed, pleased with that. "He did!"

Varric laughed harder, bending forward just a bit, holding his stomach. Kat chuckled slightly, but soon burst into laughter just like he did. Cole just tilted his head, confused.

"Dorian will kill me." Kat said, after her laughing fit calmed to giggles. She whiped a tear with her sleeve.

"That he will." Varric agreed, still cackling.

"He wouldn't do that..." Cole furrowed his brow.

"We know, kid. It means he won't be happy with us. Or her. If you want to help her, don't tell Sparkler she told you to ask him." The dwarf patted his back.

Cole nodded slightly, still confused with what happened, but knowing one. Ask Dorian, don't tell why.

"seriously, though, where did Curly drag himself to?"

Cole's head suddenly snapped towards the Skyhold gate.

" _Heart is hurting, why did she leave without me? Festis bei umo canavarum, Zariah. When will you learn_?" Cole said, his voice sounding deeper as he spoke thoughts, clearly not his own

"...Zariah? No... it can't be... shit..." Varric cursed and scuttled down the stairs of the battlements and ran to the gate.

"Did I say something wrong?" Cole frowned.

"No, Cole. Come, I'm sure he'll need help with his old friend..." Kat assured and ran after the dwarf. She was surprised that his short legs could carry him so fast, but the thought was quickly left behind. Dread and excitement overwhelmed her. She could only hope that the one here is who she think he is... but that scared her nonetheless.

"Broody!" She heard Varric call out and her suspicions were proven correct. A lanky elf was pointing his oversized sword at Cullen and a few inquisition soldiers.

"Varric." the elf sneered. He was obviously not pleased with the elf... and with good reason. "where is she?"

"She's not here. She's somewhere in Western Approach, with the Inquisitor." the dwarf said, fidgeting just a tiny bit.

"Don't worry, Fenris... she will come back. She will be sad, but she will not be hurt..." Kat suddenly poked her nose into the conversation, despite the dwarf gesturing "no" to her, drawing lines on his neck with his finger. Kat smiled gently to him, but shook her head and looked back at the elf. "You fear she will die... but she remembers your promise."

Fenris's eyes narrowed. "What promise? Who are you?" He growled.

Cullen's eyes seemed to ask the same thing, but he remained silent.

"she promised to you to not die... but she didn't make that promise unless you did... do you not trust her?" Kat asked.

Fenris seemed shocked. Brilliant emerald eyes widened and then closed and the sword was sheathed. "I apologize, Cullen. My rage has gotten the better of me. I wish no harm... just to see Hawke." He said, civilly addressing the Commander, surprising the soldiers. Kat sighed in relief. She wasn't sure it would help. But was relieved to see it did. Varric made a loud exhale, most likely sharing the feelings with the young girl.

"I suppose you can stay until the Inquisitor says otherwise. It's not my place to decide if you are welcome or not... but I suggest that blade remains sheathed." Cullen said. Seeing the former slave nod, he turned around and walked back to his office, nodding to Varric and throwing odd glanced at Cole and Kat on the way there.

The soldiers followed the Commander's example and returned to their posts, leaving the guest and the odd trio alone on the bridge between Skyhold and it's gates.

"...how did you know she was here?" Varric was the first to break the awkward silence.

"I found your letter to her." Fenris shrugged his shoulders.

The dwarf scoffed and rubbed his forehead. "Didn't I always tell her to burn her letters?" he mumbled.

Fenris seemed a bit amused by Varric's frustration, but his attention was soon directed to the girl that calmed his rage. "Who are you, mage?"

"I am no mage. I am Katherine Moelle." Kat said, calmly, half-expecting something like that.

"What are you then? A demon? An Abomination? Worse? Only she knew of the promise." Fenris's eyes narrowed as he eyed the petite girl. 

Cole fidgeted hearing 'demon', but getting a glance from his "adoptive father", he decided against saying something.

"I am no demon and no abomination. I am simply a human who knows too much." Kat said, calmly.

"And even if she wasn't broody, she's the Inquisitor's friend and Curly already told you not to wave that sword around." Varric said, looking at the Lyrium Ghost. 

Fenris sighed and nodded. "I suppose it is not worth the trouble. Call me Fenris, if you must." He muttered.

"Riddles already introduced herself. The one with the odd had is kid."

"Varric, he is Cole, not kid." Kat rolled her eyes. The dwarf mumbled whatever. The elf looked at the Spirit, squinting a bit.

"Hello. I am Cole." The boy was simple enough with his introduction.

"What are you, Cole?" Fenris was suspicious, just like he was with Kat.

"I am Cole." The spirit shrugged.

"Oh come on, Broody, must you interrogate the whole Inquisition? Let's go. Riddles will freeze her ass off. What did Chuckles say? 'Depleted of blood, blah, hard to keep warm'." The dwarf said, motioning to come as he walked back to Skyhold's courtyard. Cole glanced at the elf for a moment before following Varric. Kat smiled and skipped after the men she wandered around for the past few days, but not before shouting 'come on!' at the lanky elf. Fenris exhaled and mentally cursed Hawke. She always did lead him into "adventure". She really should have returned that gift...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys! :) I hope you enjoyed the chapter :3
> 
> I've recently started working on Cole's Cosplay :3 once I have something solid to show, I will link you to the pictures! Till next time~


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Per suggestion, this chapter will explain more about Kat's character!

They ate in silence. Fenris, Varric, Cole and Katherine sat in the Great Hall, eating. Well, Cole didn't, since he didn't need to, but he still remained there, keeping company. Sort of. None of them said a word. It was an awkward silence, one Katherine couldn't bear. She would fidget, uncomfortable, knowing that both Fenris and Cole were eyeing her. One in curiosity, one in suspicion.

Varric tried to talk to Fenris or the kids, but always received short replies and the conversation never lasted. He cursed mentally. He hated this. He knew Broody saw the Kid as a threat, along with Riddles, and that made both younglings uncomfortable.

"Oh come on, no one died! I can't take this silence anymore." Varric eventually sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Uhm... well... then... I have a question for you, Fenris..." Kat said, fidgeting ever so slightly.

The elf snapped his attention from Cole to the girl sitting on the opposite side of the spirit. "...ask." He grumbled, reluctantly.

"...Do... do the marks hurt?" Kat asked, gulping as she gathered her courage. 

The elf narrowed his eyes, feeling threatened for a moment. But soon... he noticed similarities between her and Zariah Hawke. Eyes filled with real concern, not just some desire to use him or hurt him, even though he could clearly tell her discomfort. She still asked him for he felt... just because she wished to know... without any higher agenda... just like Hawke used to do. Fenris had no idea who this girl was, what she wanted or if she was really a threat... but he would humor her with an answer. As he opened his mouth to speak, the spirit began his usual reciting of memories.

" _Golden eyes filled with worry, though she's scared. Soft, concerned 'you're bleeding...' she says. She kneels down, puts her hands on the wound and use a healing spell... the marks tingle at the magic, odd, but pleasant... she is beautiful..."_ Cole said, expression blanked out. Then he returned to normal and glanced at the lanky elf.

Varric snorted. "Boy, Hawke would have loved to hear that." he said. 

Fenris growled, his cheeks flushed red. "Do not go in my head, demon." He hissed at the blond boy, making him fidget.

"Sorry..." Cole muttered, dejected. His head lowered, to hide his face under the massive hat.

"He didn't mean harm, Fenris." Kat defended the spirit.

Varric was about to agree with Kat, but Fenris was faster.

"The abomination said the same." He stated, arms folded.

Varric's mouth snapped shut. Fenris had a point there. Anders claimed that he wouldn't harm innocents... then he almost killed the girl... and then... He sighed.

"Yes and no." Kat spoke up. Three pairs of eyes stared at the girl as she continued. "Anders was a man driven by anger, ambition and hatred. He only cared for his own agenda... He twisted the spirit. Cole came to the world because he wanted to help. He had enough will to do so, that's why he remained himself... He slipped once, yes, but he got better and learned from his mistakes. He won't fall again. Anders never learned. He didn't care... he went on how he corrupted Justice, but in truth, he only cared about the revolution..." Kat's eyes closed. "Hawke was right to kill him." She added. Varric and Fenris agreed. Varric was still mad at Anders. Blondie was his friend... and he betrayed them at the end...

Cole raised his head. "If I kill innocents again, please kill me." He said, determined. 

Fenris stared at the fade spirit for a while, curious of his motive, but nodded. "I'll make sure you're dead." 

"Good." Cole said, looking relieved.

"We wouldn't allow you become a monster, Cole. We'd grieve your death and remember you as the person you are now, but we will never let you lose yourself like that..." Kat assured.

Cole nodded again, relieved a bit. "Thank you..." He said

"I hope that never happens, Kid." Varric said. The dwarf was obviously saddened. He really liked the boy... and honestly he didn't want to lose another person that was dear to him. He already lost to many...

"Yes." Cole said.

Fenris sighed. He was an eternal pessimist, so he wasn't convinced of Cole's innocence, but decided to only act when he really turned evil. He smirked a bit, imagining himself telling everyone 'I told you so'.

Cole twitched a bit, but was quiet. Luckily, before another awkward silence set in, the door of the Great Hall flung open and Lady Andrielle Adaar stepped inside the hall. She was wearing her Silk Brocade robe, armored with Lazurite and August Ram Leather. She always liked to have robes in one color and this time they happened to be blue. Andrielle's eyes landed on Kat. A small, gentle smile crept on her tired and a bit sandy face as she approached the group.

"I see you are feeling much better... that's a relief." The Qunari said, smiling. She sat down next to Kat and then looked at Cole.

"was she a problem?" She asked

"No." Cole said and shook his head.

"She's alright, Mess." Varric agreed.

"Good. I'm glad." The mage smiled and then looked at Fenris.

"I do not believe we have met. I am Andrielle Adaar, the Inquisitor or the Herald of Andraste." The Qunari introduced herself, bowing her head respectfully.

"So you really are a Qunari. Did they put you here to convert the south to the Qun?" Fenris growled.

"Broody!" Varric scolded.

"There is no need, Varric." Adaar said. She returned Fenris's stare with a gentler one. Forgiving one. "I am Tal-Vashoth, my dear guest. I was born outside of the Qun... and I am Andrastian... I believe in the maker." The Inquisitor said, tucking a messy lock of hair behind her horn but it fell back on her face,

"Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter" Cole whispered.

"Blessed are the Peacekeepers, Champions of the Just." Andrielle closed her eyes as she finished the verse.

Fenris grumbled. "I am Fenris." He said.

"Fenris? Ah! Lady Hawke spoke of you." She said, eyes opening and looking at the elf, curiously.

"Hawke... is she here?" Fenris's tone was gentler now.

"No, sorry... she stayed in the Western Approach with her Warden friend. But as soon as the Inquisition forces are gathered, we will march to Adamant Fortress. She will be there and I would appreciate your help." She said, purple eyes unblinking,

The elf nodded. "Hawke is fighting with you, so shall I, for now, mage." He said.

"Sounds good enough. Ah... but I need a hot bath." The Herald sighed.

Kat sighed, wishfully, obviously  agreeing. Andrielle's attention was soon directed at the young girl.

"Cole, Varric, may I steal her? I'm curious... and would like to get to know her closer." She said

"Huh?" Kat's eyes shot open.

"Sure." Varric said

"You're not stealing her, Andrielle..." Cole said, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Alright." Adaar chuckled. "How about me borrowing her from your company?" The mage asked.

The spirit nodded slowly. "Okay..."

"Thank you, Cole." She said and stood up. "Katherine, would you please follow me?" she asked, smiling.

The girl stuttered for a bit but nodded and got up. She followed the tall woman up to her Quarters. Kat kept looking around. The highest room in Skyhold was tidy, despite her usual messiness. Her room was cozy. With a flick of her wrist, Andrielle lit up the fireplace.

"Make yourself at home." The mage said and leaned her staff against a bookshelf.

Kat fidgeted a bit and decided to sit down on the bed. She was surprised how soft and comfortable the king-sized bed was.

"Well, Katherine. How are you?" The Qunari asked, pulling a huge metal tub out of the small storage room.

"Oh! I am good... thank you for your hospitality...!" The girl said, shyly.

"Ah... the Inquisition is here to help anyone and everyone in need." The Qunari brushed her off. She conjured water to fill the tub. Then she heated the side of the tub with a ball of fire. Once the water was steaming, the fire on her blue gloved hand vanished.

"Do you wish to go first, or should I?" The mage asked.

"What?--oh... oh no, go ahead! I'm fine!" The girl shook her head, shyly.

"Are you sure? I don't mind. I still have reports to write." Andrielle said.

"Really! You need it more!" Kat assured, shaking her head. The teen felt odd. She probably knew Andrielle better than anyone else... but she couldn't calm down. She couldn't just act normal with the Qunari.

"If you're nervous about being naked around me, please don't be! I am a woman like you, and, well, I'm already in a somewhat committed relationship." Adaar said. "But maybe, if it helps, we can share the bath? Both would be naked, and no one would be awkwardly watching?" She suggested, tapping her chin. "It would save me mana as well," She said

"I... uh... if... if it helps?" Kat fidgeted.

"The tub is large enough for us both... they really got a king sized one, worried I wouldn't fit in a normal one." She chuckled. "I don't mind whatsoever. Nudity doesn't bother me, especially not with women." The horned woman said.

Kat nodded slowly. The Qunari flashed her a motherly smile and began to unbuckle all straps of the ornate pieces of her armor. The metal shoulder pads and chest plate fell on the floor with a _clack_. Soon her boots, gauntlets, coat, shirt, pants and smalls were soon piled on the floor. Kat couldn't help but stare.

Andrielle was tall, even for a Qunari. Her arms and legs were lean, but muscular, flat stomach, perfectly curved hips and large breasts. Her long curly red hair reached her waist and was absolutely messy. Her horns were long, curled to the back and polished, with gold bands on them. Her eyes were large on her heart-shaped face. They were a vivid purple, but were gentle, just like everything about her.  She stepped into the bath, her pale skin reddened from the hot water. She squealed slightly before lowing herself into it.

Kat continued to watch till the mage pouted. "come on!" She encouraged her. Kat sighed and closed her eyes. Cole was right. Andrielle was really bright... like a bright star in a moonless night, guiding the way. The teen stood up and unzipped her fluffy hoody and let it fall on the floor. She followed Andrielle's example of disrobing, though Kat's tank top, jeans, bra and undies were much easier to be rid of.

And now, it was Andrielle's turn to stare. She wasn't short, for a human. She had thin, but long blonde hair that reached her mid-back, bangs covering left side of her face, to hide one of her cold, gray eyes that were rimmed by a deep blue. The teen was thing, but oddly shaped. Arms and legs were really thin, but her stomach wasn't really flat. She had breasts a couple of sizes smaller than Adaar's, but they weren't considered small and perfectly perky. The Qunari could clearly tell the deformation though. Being adept at healing, she knew much about anatomy... and knew that the way how Kat's lower ribs stuck out was not usual. But, according to the healers, that doesn't cause the girl any problems and if you didn't know better, you'd probably wouldn't even mind... but the Qunari knew she did mind it. Andrielle also noticed her hip that was covered in cuts, old ones, but just as many as her wrist had. She decided against commenting. She didn't want to make the girl more nervous. 

Kat gulped and slowly approached the tub. The cold stone floor made her pale skin get goose bumps. She fidgeted a bit as she stood next to the tub, but too self-conscious to get inside.

"It's all right, dear." Adaar encouraged her, in a motherly tone. It calmed the nervous girl enough for her to sit in the tub. Kat made a relaxed exhale. The hot water helped her ease up and she was soon in the bath to her collarbones. Andrielle smiled.

"I hope you didn't have much trouble with Cole and Varric... I hope my female company is any comfort." The herald said, getting her red curls wet.

"I... I--I didn't mind their company... but being with another girl is a bit better... thank you." Kat said, her face red. The Inquisitor could tell, that it wasn't just because of hot water.

"You have such pretty hair..." She commented, reaching for Kat's blonde hair and twirling a strand on her finger. "So thin, though. Hmm... I might have something to help that." She said and got on her knees. She leaned over the side and rummaged the small wooden box that contained soaps and oils. She pulled some kind of bottle and gave it to the younger female.

"Try it! It should thicken your hair... I used to have thin hair as a little girl too. Mother showed me this. It's a secret herb mix." She winked.

Kat felt herself relax and giggle. She accepted the bottle. "Thanks!" she said.

The girls kept discussing their hair, skin and beauty issues like old friends. Andrielle was glad to see Kat loosen up. The younger girl had even splashed water on the Inquisitor. Not that Andrielle minded. She was amused by it all. The girls washed each other backs and eventually left the tub. Andrielle was used to the cold air of Skyhold, but Kat was shivering once out of the tub. The Qunari smiled sadly and quickly gave the girl a towel and pushed her to the fireplace. 

"Sit here, warm up." The Herald said, making the teen sit on the bear fur carpet. The girl nodded and sat here, rubbing her body with the towel the Inquisitor gave her. She watched as Andrielle opened her wardrobe and rubbed her chin. She obviously searched for something she could give Katherine to wear... but Andrielle was much taller, so no of her clothes would have fit. Sighing, the Inquisitor got dressed in her usual casual wear and looked at Katherine.

"Dear, stay here. I will ask Josie for some clothes for you to wear." She said. Seeing Kat nod, she walked down the stairs. Kat could hear the door shut.

The teen sighed and giggled to herself. She had a lot of fun with Andrielle. Kat plopped on her back on the rug, enjoying the warmth coming from the fireplace. It wasn't so bad here... dying wasn't so bad. Everyone she had met was friendly so far... No one judged her for anything. She knew Andrielle noticed her deformed rib cage. Nobody bothered to laugh at her for her sexuality or eerie eyes, or scars or panic attacks... she felt accepted, like she belonged here. The girl closed her eyes and sleep threatened to consume her. She didn't mind though. She was content, for the first time in a very, very long time. She was half-asleep when she heard the door open and close, but she didn't bother waking up. She hoped tomorrow would be a day as fun as this one was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say that I would love to get comments, to help improve my story... I know I'm not perfect, but hey, I can learn! Also, I do not wish to offend anyone with this story. I know it talks about some dark, deep shit... but it's like that for a reason. In my opinion, Cole would never get attached to a person he couldn't really relate to ^^;  
> Also, if you think that how Katherine copes is unrealistic, I will say that many people cope in many different ways. Katherine is a character who has lived in my shoes and her methods of coping are my actual methods of coping. I know what I did, so, that does make it realistic, no? :D  
> Anyways~  
> Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrielle, Vivienne, Josephine and Leliana discuss fashion for Kat, while she finds peace in her phone and Cole.

Kat rolled over. Her sleepy body and conscious didn't register that her arm had hit something. Andrielle did, though. Unlike the blonde girl, the Qunari mage was a light sleeper and was instantly woken up by the arm that smacked her horn. She sat up and rubbed her forehead, trying to comprehend what just happened. She rubbed her tired eyes and glanced at the much smaller creature curled up in Bull's side of her bed. She let out a sigh once her memory came back. The poor girl fell asleep on her rug while waiting for her clothes. Andrielle had shooed Bull off that night, allowing the teen to sleep in her bed next to her.

The Qunari wasn't bothered. She liked the girl. She was a but odd, but not in a nessecarily bad way. Her whole inner circle was odd: A ben-Hassrath, Spirit of Compassion. a beardless storyteller Dwarf, an arrogant circle-loving mage, a dreamwalker, a Warden with an odd name and even odder beard, nutcase elf, not-so-innocent ambassador. Shoe and nug crazed spy. A lyrium addict. A much too flamboyant homosexual flirt. Cassandra would be the normal one. Would be. Till they found out about how the Seekers come to be. So now she is the abomination of Faith. Andrielle snorted and shook her head. No. She was no abomination. Neither was Cole a demon. It was that simple... yet so many didn't understand. All the Herald could do is hope... hope that one day, everyone would respect everyone and live in long-wished peace.

The Qunari looked out her open balcony doors. It was already after sunrise... she might as well get up. She put her covers over the sleeping human girl and stood up. She stretched her body and pulled her nightgown off. She usually slept naked, but figured, if Kat suddenly started bleeding or feeling ill and needed to go to the infirmary right away, it'd be more practical if the great Inquisitor ran there butt-naked. Luckily nothing happened and the girl slept like a log.

Andrielle shuffled to her closet and sighed again.

"You can come in, Cole." She said.

The said boy gasped and his head poked out of the hole in the floor, where the stairs led downstairs.

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, holding his hands on his heads. Andrielle had hit his head with her staff once she found out that he was sneaking around other people's quarters. Will she hit him again?

"I understand, Cole. I told you to watch her and you were worried." Andrielle said, getting dressed.

"Yes." Cole replied. "She is asleep... unhurt." He added.

"You needn't worry. I was here to protect her." The Qunari said softly. "Do you like her, Cole? She is a nice girl."

"Yes. Katherine is very nice. Has a hurt... but she won't let me heal. She said she needs time." The spirit replied and frowned

"Ah... yes. We mortals need that."

"Varric told me that... I don't understand... but I will wait." Cole nodded slightly.

"Thank you, my dear. Would you be a good boy and ask Josie, Leliana and Vivienne to come here? I will wake up Katherine. She needs some clothes and I don't know how to address the issue... most likely, they'll help me with that." Andrielle said

" _others know better about fashion, clothes._ " Cole read a lone thought from Inquisitor's head.

"If you need girls, why won't Cassandra or Sera come? They are girls..."Cole said, his head tilted.

Andrielle chuckled softly. "My dear, Cassandra is as much as help as I would be. As for Sera... I'd avoid having her in one room as Josie and Vivienne." Andrielle smiled kindly at him.

"Yes..." Cole said, understanding now. Sera hated Vivienne and Josephine for being nobility, in a way. It was best to avoid conflict in front of Kat, he understood.

"Now go, my dear." Andrielle said, a kind and motherly smile on her face. Cole nodded and scuttled down the stairs.

As soon as she heard the door shut, Andrielle nudged Kat's side. "Dear, wake up." She whispered, gently petting Kat's soft blonde hair. The Qunari was a bit envious of her straight hair - Andrielle's curls was impossible to maintain, but she didn't want to cut it short.

Katherine groaned and slightly opened one eye. Andrielle knew better than to assume that the girl was awake. The Inquisitor nudged her some more.

"I'm up, I'm up..." The girl said and sat up. She sleepily stared at her knees and the Qunari could swear, the girl would just flop back to bed. It made her laugh and Kat's head made a sharp turn towards her.

"Riel!" She exclaimed

"Why yes." Adaar nodded.

"Oh! Why-- oh dear... I'm so, so sorry!" Kat said, covering her face in embarrassment.

"It is alright, child. I allowed it, you were tired. You might need to tell Bull sorry though." Andrielle made a light chuckle.

"Inquisitor?" Josie's thick-accented voice sounded

"Come on up!" Andrielle replied.

Kat looked nervous and fidgeted.

"Don't worry. child. Josie will help us get you clothes." The Herald assured.

The smaller girl nodded.

Josephine walked up the stairs, wearing her usual golden and blue silk garments.

"You wished to see me, Inquisitor?"

Andrielle nodded. "Yes. Mind waiting a bit? I also invited Leliana and Vivienne... We need clothes and you three are my best advisers in such matters." The Qunari admitted Josie nodded and looked at the girl.

"She seems to be similar to Leliana... I'm sure she will have something for her. Why don't we also take her measurements? We can order some garments just for her." Josie said.

"That'd be delightful, dear!" Adaar sighed in relief.

"I knew I could count on you!"

"always, Inquisitor."

"Josie, I told you to call me Andrielle while in private... There is no need for formality..." The Qunari pouted

"Apologies, Andrielle... habits." The antivan noble said, smiling.

Andrielle's pout turned into a satisfied smile.

"You two don't yet know each other. Katherine, this is Josephine Montiliyet, my ambassador." Andrielle said.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, lady Katherine." Josie smiled at her

"I'm Katherine Moelle... and please, don't call me lady... it's a bit odd..." The girl gave her a sheepish smile.

"Katherine then." Josie smiled and nodded.

The three women spent time debating what color and fabric would suit Kat best. Well, Josie and Andrielle did. Kat was just sitting and listening, still wrapped up in a blanket. Some time later Leliana came with Vivienne. The Spymaster had some clothes with her. Andrielle was curious to know how she knew, but decided to bite her tongue. Some things were best kept a secret. While Kat slipped into the purple tunic, laced with gold and black leggings and some boots the four women discussed still. Vivienne insisted some silk with golden embroidery. Leliana insisted on heavy velvet, despite Kat's protests. Katherine hated the feel of velvet, but Leliana was so into the discussion, she didn't even hear it. Josephine was also for silk, but gold was 'out of the question'. She insisted that some simple motives would suit more. Andrielle? She was for something warm that wasn't a complete sack of potatoes. She had said that, trice and she was sure that the three wanted to kill her each time she did. Once she even suggested plaidweave and if looks could kill, Andrielle would be dead around six times. Vivienne ended up politely telling the Inquisitor off. They all were too absorbed in the discussion that they didn't even notice the girl sneak outside Inquisitor's quarters and back to the tent were her belongings stayed.

Katherine searched her backpack and pulled out her phone. A cracked Samsung S3 with a silly back case, which had a cat face and even ears on it made her smile. Her white earphones were still plugged in and she hoped that her phone was still alive, so she could just listen to music. All that fuss about clothes made her uncomfortable. 

Kat held the lock button and saw her phone turn on. Hope flared as the small decide started up with swirly lines and the Samsung logo. Soon her screen lit up with the wallpaper with Cole on it and the device asked her to enter her pin. She squealed slightly, to see her phone with full battery. She couldn't remember what happened and she was scared it'd be dead... but she must have turned it off... she couldn't remember... but now it didn't bother her much. She entered the pin and unlocked the screen. No reception... but she didn't expect any. Or WiFi for that matter. She knew she only had this 100% of the battery before it'd die completely. It made her a bit sad, not to be able to listen to music again, but she decided to safe every single percent of her battery. 

The girl left her tent and walked to the lone, broken tower. She knew it would be quiet there... so she sat down on the floor, put her earphones in, pressed play and closed her eyes. Her thoughts went wild, listening to the song, heart aching once the words seem to spin around her. She opened her mouth and quietly sung along.

" _And we fly... fly into outer space..._ " 

She used to wish she could. Fly away, float away into nothingness.

" _And we die... die to love another day..."_

She did die. Now she's here and she's unsure... Unsure if it was right. If she belonged. Her insecurity, sorrow, pain... it all swelled into her chest.

" _You lifted me up just to watch as you dropped me_ " 

They did. So many people did. They just enjoyed seeing her suffer.

Tears stung her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Before she even noticed, she was bawling.

"It's okay... you belong..." She heard Cole say. Her eyes widened. She began to wipe her tears and stopped her music.

"Cole..." She whispered.

" _aching, hurting... why? Why me? I never wanted to be sad. I wanted to be like everyone_ else." Cole whispered her thought. "It's okay to be different. He said. "We understand. We like you... you are home." He said and sat next to her.

"Thank you..." She whispered. "For coming here." She added.

"I like helping people." He said.

"That you do." Kat made a small smile. "Home... yes... here is home, I think..." The girl looked up at the broken ceiling of the tower and at the sky.

"What's that...?" Cole poked her phone.

"Ah... it's too long to explain... wait! I'll show you something. I'll touch you for a bit, so don't get startled, yes?" She said.

Cole looked hesitant, but nodded. The girl beamed. She put one of her earphones into his ear.

"Listen to it, yeah?"

Cole nodded. He watched with interest, understanding nothing. The girl scrolled through her playlist founding the song she wanted to show.

_When the earth was young and the air was sweet_  
_And the mountains kissed the sky_  
  


"Like here in Skyhold?" Cole asked.

"Yes!" Kat giggled

_In the great beyond, with its many paths_  
_Man and nature lived side by side_

"Beyond? Fade! Fade has many paths!"

Kat nodded again.

_In this wilderness of danger and beauty_  
_Lived three brothers, bonded by love_  
  


"were they happy?"

"They had a happy ending."

_Their hearts full of joy, they ask now for guidance_  
_Reaching out to the skies up above_  
  


"Like Andrielle did when she sealed the breach!"

"Yeah!"

_Great spirits of all who lived before_  
_Take our hands and lead us_  
[  
](http://www.metrolyrics.com/great-spirits-lyrics-phil-collins.html#ixzz3e0t6fWeR)

"Spirits? Me? Lead where?"

"Just listen"

_Fill our hearts and souls with all you know_  
_Show us that in your eyes we are all the same_  
  


By then, Kat sung along. She looked at Cole, into his eyes as she sung along.

The spirit was mesmerized. He no longer heard the words of the song, just those that Katherine sung.

_"Give us wisdom to pass to each other_  
_Give us strength so we understand_  
_That the things we do, the choices we make_  
_Give direction to all life's plans"_  
  


_They do._ He wanted to say, but something bound his tongue. All he could do was watch the blonde sing, looking into her eyes as he stared back at his.

_"Great spirits of all who lived before_  
_Take our hands and lead us"_

Cole reached out and held her hand. Kat smiled as she kept singing, giving his hand a gentle squish. He noticed her cheeks reddened, but he was so into her singing, he couldn't ask about it. To him, the song was her calling out to him. To help her, to heal her hurt, guide her to the right path... and he would. A new feeling bubbled in his gut, but he couldn't describe it. He just watched the girl sing, look happy.

 

~

 

Solas walked back to his office. He and Cole were talking about the fade when he suddenly jumped up and ran off. He was worried, so he had followed. The song got to the old Fen'Harel... " _Great Spirits, take our hands and lead us_ "... he didn't lead anyone... and nowhere. In his eyes not all were the same... it made him think. And that needed to be away from those two, who knew who he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two ideas came to me randomly. I hope you enjoy!  
> The songs: Papa Roach - Gravity  
> Great Spirits - Track 2 from Brother Bear OST


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat's training session, meeting Sera and Krem and preparations for Here Lies The Abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very, very sorry for the late update! These last weeks were extremely busy - school is almost out, a convention on 11th of July, work and everything. But everything seems to be quieting down, so I am able to update!  
> (Have a picture of my Cole cosplay as compensation for late update https://goo.gl/mEUhoq )

It didn't take long for them to be found. Cole knew that Andrielle was looking for him and Katherine. He didn't say anything, though. He knew it wasn't a bad thing and he enjoyed seeing Kat dance. The blonde girl was spinning in circles as she sung along to whatever song came up on her phone. He was happy, because she was happy. Her pain seemed far away, forgotten. She smiled and laughed as she tripped and stumbled over the debris, stood up and danced anew. Compassion had to smile. This was the happiest he had ever seen the girl. 

But then, the door to the messy room opened and Kat panicked. She quickly turned her phone off and stared at the tall mage with fear.

"R-riel... I... I ah..." the teen stammered. 

Cole didn't interfere. He didn't need to. He knew that Kat was never in any danger from Andrielle. He watched in silence, legs dangling and hitting the box he sat on ever so often.

"Katherine." The Inquisitor spoke, after looking around. Her bright purple eyes were narrowed and her tone was scolding. 

"Y-yes...?" The younger girl asked, trembling a bit, tugging on her purple sleeves of her borrowed tunic.

'It is very impolite for you just run off like that." The Herald scolded. "Vivienne, Leliana and Josephine were all trying to help you. Running off is simply a wordless telling off." She added.

The teen trembled, tears filling her eyes. Guilt ate her as she looked down. "I'm sorry..." she managed to whispered. 

"She didn't mean to, Andrielle..." Cole finally decided to pipe in. He looked as if he were somewhere else than the two women were, as he recited the blonde's thoughts. " _Heart racing, Maker, they're yelling, arguing, fighting. Need to run... need to hide. I just need to go away..."_

Andrielle sighed, her expression softening. "I am sorry they frightened you... They did get a bit out of hand... Just tell me next time when you get uncomfortable... I really do understand wanting to run away..." The mage said, gently, as she petted Kat's head.

Kat's eyes slowly filled with tears. She made a small nod and looked down, embarrassed and ashamed, making the Qunari sigh once more. The Inquisitor wrapped her arms around the teen's small body and cooed gently, rubbing her back in a soothing fashion. She didn't want to cry. She really didn't mean to make her cry. Andrielle was a good person, trying to help everyone she could and seeing people upset troubled her.

Cole watched the two women in silence. He heard both their thoughts. One of them was afraid of not being accepted, not realizing that she already was. The other just wanted to help, not realizing she already did. He knew that Cole and Kat were like Andrielle's own kids. The young Qunari wished some of her own, one day, but she knew duties came first. The Inquisitor already started to bury that dream... she was 24. Who knew how long this war would take? Maybe she'll die before it ends. Maybe she'll be to old to. Cole waned to reassure her... but he knew it would only hurt more.

It took a while for the blonde girl to calm down. She whispered thanks to the mage holding her and wiped her tears. Andrielle smiled sadly. "Ah, child..." she mumbled, shaking her head. 

"You didn't have to hug me... thanks.." Kat whispered, thanking the Qunari again. This time, the red head snorted

"Do hugs really help?" Compassion poked into the conversation. He had received hugs before, but he didn't like the touching. Too many feelings all at once, it was overwhelming.

"They do for some people, Cole. Hugs are a sign of friendship..." Andrielle said and Kat nodded in agreement.

"Yes." Cole nodded.

"Now, the original reason I came here for... Kat, I arranged for Sera and Krem to train you." The Qunari looked away from the spirit and looked at the girl, still wrapped in her arms.

"Huh? I can understand Krem, but Sera?" Kat furrowed her brow. She wasn't sure she'd get along with the elf and was already getting worried.

"Naturally, she resisted. 'Shite! But Creepy is the one babysitting her!'" Andrielle tried to impersonate the Red Jenny. It failed, but made Kat laugh, so she deemed it a success.

"Yeah... sounds like Sera..." Kat agreed.

"Anyways. Reason behind it, I thought, since you're not a mage, let a warrior and a rogue decide what you're more suited for. Cole is a rogue... but I don't think he'd be a good teacher."

"I just stab where the dagger has to go." Cole said, confused.

"Yes. That's why." Andrielle nodded

The human girl nodded. "makes sense..."

The Qunari smiled. "Cole, take her to the Herald's Rest. Make sure she's not injured, alright? I trust you."

"Yes. She will not get hurt."

"good. Now, I have paperwork to sign, a march on Adamant to plan... " The Herald released the girl from their hug and rubbed her forehead.

"when?" Kat whispered.

"Three weeks. Do well... maybe then I'll let you come with us." The mage replied.

Kat nodded twice and determination filled her eyes. "You can count on me." she said

The Qunari smiled. "I know I can." she said and left the rundown tower room.

Kat looked at Cole, grinning excitedly. "Let's go!"

"Yes!" The compassion said, nodding, getting infected with the girl's excitement. 

The girl jumped and ran. Cole had to blink twice to realize she was already going to the tavern. He gasped and bolted after Kat. He was supposed to lead her there! Yet she ran first! He wasn't expecting that, but then again, the girl never did meet the spirit's expectations. She'd smile and laugh once second, be sad the next and on the third she's smiling again. He wasn't sure what to make of her... but she was interesting, to say the least.

Once the two got there, they were greeted by three pairs of eyes staring at them. More specifically, at Katherine. The looks made her fidget. Cassandra, Sera and Krem were standing near the training dummies. They were discussing something, but the talk died out once the blonde girl approached them

Cassandra was first to make a move. The Seeker narrowed her eyes and approached the otherworldly girl, mistrustful. "You must be Katherine." She said, her voice rich with Nevarran accent.

"I am." The girl said, her voice low. She wanted to shrink... _Cass is scary in person_ , she thought.

"You may be the Inquisitor's guest and she seems to trust you, but if you do anything to prove yourself trouble, I will cut you down." The Seeker said, serious as ever.

"Yes. I understand." The younger girl replied.

Cassandra eyed the blonde for a while. But she turned around and left, without saying another word, making Katherine sigh in relief.

Sera grinned as soon as the Seeker was out of sight. "You's Kat, yeah? Heard a lot of ya!" The elf said and walked around the human, eyeing her.

"Yes, I am... and you're Sera." Kat said, following the archer with her eyes.

"Ya don' seem like much!" The elf stated and folded her arms, after her inspection was complete.

"Thanks?" Kat raised her eyebrow and Sera snorted.

"Do not mind her. We'll see how well you'll do." Krem, who had been quiet up to this point, spoke up. 

"Hello, Cremisius. Or is Krem okay?" Kat's attention snapped to the Tevinter warrior.

"Krem's fine." He shrugged. Kat smiled and nodded. "So. Have you had any combat training at all?" He asked. 

Kat shook her head. "I only did aerobics as a kid and used to know how to fire a bow... all that was years ago." She admitted.

"Aero-what? Ya know, don't matter! Let's just give 'er wooden weapons and try, yeah?" Sera said, rubbing her chin as she thought.

"Sounds like a plan."

"innit?" The blonde elf grinned.

"Oh dear..." Kat whispered and gulped. She braced herself for quite a lot of bruises. Just what did she get herself into?

 

~ ~ ~

 

About three hours later, Kat was lying on the grass, panting madly. She was absolutely exhausted. Cole sat next to her, watching her chest go up with every inhale and down with every exhale. The training went well. They tried out many weapons and though Kat was fascinated by the wooden greatsword, she did much better armed with two daggers. 

Kat was thinking as she tried to catch her breath. She was much more agile than she ever was at Earth. The girl figured, that whatever got her here, made her body more suitable for combat, stronger, so she would fit in and wouldn't die on the spot. Hell if she knew. All she was sure of, was the fact that she never could have done a backflip before and evade such fast attacks that came from Krem and Sera. Sera was honestly impressed by her skill.

"Train more and tag along with us, yeah?" She said, grinning. "cool, innit?"

Krem also agreed. "you did quite well for a girl with no combat training." He nodded.

Kat smiled, her frantic breathing slowing down. She was proud of herself, sure, but she was also amused. Just before they ended the training session, Sera and Krem tried to ram into the girl from opposite sides. Kat was exhausted and no longer as fast. She realized she'd end up a Kat-Sandwich and closed her eyes, bracing herself for impact, but it never came. Instead she felt pulling and heard a loud thud.

"OW! SHITE!" Sera yelled.

Krem huffed a bit.

When Katherine finally opened her eyes, she saw Krem and Sera sitting on the grass where she just did. Cole hat pulled the young girl out of the way and her mentors rammed into each other. Krem was unharmed for the most part, his heavy armor saving him from damage, but Sera was in her clothes. She got some bad bruises and screamed at Cole.

"WHAT THE HELL CREEPY!" She screamed.

"Andrielle said not to let Katherine get hurt." Cole said, simply, most likely used to Sera's screaming. The said elf made a frustrated noise, muttered something and stormed off to her room in the tavern.

"Well, I should get back to it too. Good work." The tevinter smiled and followed Sera's example, but with much calmer steps. As they left Kat flopped on her back and been lying like that since.

"Cole?" She finally asked.

"Yes?"

"...was... I really any good?" She asked, turning her head to look at the spirit.

"Yes. They both felt proud. " Compassion answered, smiling a bit.

"Thanks for the help" Kat smiled at him.

"I like helping people." Came Cole's honestly reply.

"Yeah. I know you do..."

 

~ ~ ~

 

Andrielle was pleased to hear about Kat's training results. She decided to bring her along to missions to her usual party of 4 or 5. She'd get experience faster like that and the Qunari would make sure the girl was okay. She commissioned armor and daggers for the girl. Harrit wasn't too pleased to have a girl, who also squirmed during measurements down in the undercove, but didn't say anything. He knew that meant trouble, seeing how friendly the Inquisitor was with her. They made Kat's armor out of Deepstalker Hide, with Lazurite buckles and armoring and a Silk Brocade scarf. Kat loved her armor. She couldn't wait to try it in action, but sadly she was tied to Skyhold, due to Andrielle preparing their assault on Adamant.

The Qunari smiled now. Everything was set. Thanks to Josephine, Lady Seryl of Jader supplied them with trebuchets. She told Cullen to ready their men. They would march at dawn. Once the meeting was done, she asked for her inner circle be called to the warm room, Katherine included. 

So there everyone was, impatiently waiting for action, waiting for the Inquisitor, their friend and companion to speak.

"My friends... Time has come. Tomorrow, we will go to Adamant and stop the demon army the Elder One is making. We will not allow the future Dorian and I saw to take place. We will march and we will win." Andrielle said, confidentially. "I need everyone with me. Will you come?" she asked

"It would be most gruesome if we did. The Future we saw had no fashion sense whatsoever! Too many demons." Dorian said. "I shall accompany you. You can't succeed without my skill, after all."

"Well said, Sparkler. We'll do this." Varric nodded

"I am with you, Inquisitor." Cassandra said.

"It pains me to kill my brothers and sisters, but this has to be stopped. I am with you." Blackwall nodded

"They will not hurt anymore people." Cole stated. Everyone assumed that he was in on the plan.

"I will put an arrow to every demon, yeah?" Sera nodded

"I'm with you, Kadan." Bull said. Andrielle made a slight nod. They said no more, but they didn't need to, either.

"I have never been to Adamant. It will be a new experience. I am with you." Solas said, nodding slightly.

"My dear, I came here to lend you my aid, and that is what you will get." Vivienne said.

Andrielle smiled and then looked at Kat. "Will you, Katherine?"

"huh? Yes! Of course!" She said, blinking. "I.... I'd love to march with you, Riel!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you. All of you... get some rest. We leave at dawn." Andrielle said. Her inner circle scattered, leaving only her and Bull in the room. He knew she wasn't all that confident. He knew she needed his reassurance tonight...

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tower I've mentioned is an actual one. If you walk up the the stairs to the left of Cullen's office and go left you'll find a tiny messy tower with one room. Not sure if it stays like that for everyone, it is like that in my playthrough :)  
> Next chapter: Here Lies The Abyss. Stay tuned!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here Lies the Abyss: Adamant Fortress

Fire, screams and chanting was in the air. It made Kat dizzy. But she steeled her nerves, gulped and stood ready. She watched as the Trebuchets broke the walls of the fortress, how Wardens fell from the impact. But she looked away. This had to be done. She looked at Andrielle who was giving commands.

Then the gate gave in. Andrielle marched in, her Lightning Staff static-y and ready. She had a word with Cullen and then looked at her Inner Circle.

"Come on guys! Up on the Battlements, we will clear them for our men. We'll make groups! Cole, Bull, Cass, Kat and Stroud to me. Rest, save as many as you can."

Everyone nodded. Andrielle's group was the first to run up the flight of stairs. Kat was ready. She had to be. She was quick from the past weeks of training and knew where to stab. She threw herself on the wardens, stabbed their mostly exposed necks, retreated to Andrielle to avoid any hits and flung herself at the enemy again.

The Inquisitor threw lightning bolts to anyone that got too close to the young Rogue, and Cole did eliminate everyone that got too close to hurting her. They made their way up, slaughtering every hostile Warden. The Qunari Mage was impressed with Kat. She was concentrated and didn't let the blood bother her. For not, at least. They found Zariah on the battlements, laughing as she threw fireballs.

"THAT'S ONE FOR ME, HAHA!" She laughed.

Fenris whirlwinded his way through a group of attackers. "Five!"

"CHEATING!"

"In war everything is fair!"

"In love, too!"

"I love you, too!"  Fenris yelled.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Zariah exclaimed, but was smiling. She missed fighting alongside her broody elf. "Just you wait, I will win!"

Kat froze for a second. She was so excited to see Fenris and Zariah in flesh and blood, fighting and bickering, but lovingly so. She was nudged back to reality by Bull, who had just taken out a Warrior from her side. "C'mon!" he said

"Yeah!" she exclaimed. They fought, spilling blood. 

"DIE!" Andrielle yelled, shocking a Warden to death, eyes wicked and excited

"You can't hurt me!" Cole exclaimed as he vanished in thin air, avoiding the sword that was about to piece him. He reappeared behind his pursuer and stabbed his daggers to his neck.

"Maker take you!" Cass sneered and bashed an Archer over the edge of the battlement.

"One down!" Bull yelled as he sliced someone in half.

The only one fighting in silence was Kat. All she did was hum. Soon Cole joined in on the hum.

 

_All around the Mulberry Bush,_

_The monkey chased the weasel._

 

Kat hopped on a crate and jumped on an Archer's back. She stabbed the Warden in the eyesocket and pulled the dagger out.

 

_The monkey thought 'twas all in fun,_

_Pop! goes the weasel._

 

Kat didn't even notice that she had killed the last one. She looked up to see Hawke, Andrielle and Fenris talking.

"Good work, you two! Keep my men safe, will you?"

"I'll do the best I can." Zariah nodded.

"I will make sure she doesn't die protecting others." Fenris grumbled

"Oh shut up." The Champion pouted

"You two have fun. Let's go!" Adaar said. She ran, going to secure other ladders to help her soldiers. They didn't take long - some of the Wardens surrendered. The Inquisitor said none will be harmed if they didn't fight, so they stood down. Stroud expressed is relief. Andrielle was just as relieved, but they had to hurry. After securing all points Cullen asked her to, they met up with Hawke, who had a huge gash on her arm. She got separated from Fenris in the fighting, but she wasn't too worried. Zariah knew he wouldn't break their promise. 

"Hawke saved a lot of our men, Inquisitor!" One of the soldiers said.

"I do my best." The charming black haired mage winked, her brilliant blue eyes amused. She tucked her shoulder-long hair behind her ears. "Let's move" she suggested. 

"We need to meet up with the rest of the inner circle! I can't allow Kat and Cole to come with me."

"What?!" Kat exclaimed.

"I want to help!" Cole whined

"Kat, you're too inexperienced! Cole, there's blood mages that might bind you!"

"They won't!" Kat and Cole yelled at the same time.

The Qunari looked at Kat. "You sure?" she whispered, worried

"I am." Kat assured

Cassandra sighed. "I do agree with you, Inquisitor, but Hawke is right. We don't have time." She said.

"Yeah... alright. Let's go." The redheaded mage nodded and lead the way to the courtyard. The party made it there just in time for a speech

"Wardens! We are betrayed by the very world we have sworn to protect!" Clarel spoke to the Wardens. But Erimond was quick to interrupt her

"The Inquisition has already breached our walls! They're inside! There is no time for a ceremony!" He said, annoyed.

Clarel narrowed her eyes. "There men and women are giving their lives, Magister. That might mean little in Tevinter, but for the Wardens, it is a sacred duty." She snapped. The Warden-Commander glared at the tevinter as she walked away from him. She didn't get too far as an older Warden approached her. Pain lit up in her face.

"It has been many years, old friend..." she said, sorrowfully.

"Too many, Clarel." He said, without fear in his voice, bowing. "But if my sword arm can't serve the wardens, than my blood will have to do." He said as Clarel moved behind him

"NO!" Zariah screamed. Clarel closed her eyes as her own friend stood up

"STOP, DON'T!" Hawke screamed more. Cole gritted his teeth. Kat noticed. He turned to the Champion. "Ree, please..." she whispered.

"Stop it Clarel!" Zariah didn't listen. 

But she didn't. "It will..." Clarel said, slitting the older warden's throat. Her face was full of pain as she watched the body fall on the ground.

Zariah screamed and jumped forward, fire in her both hands.

Andrielle gestured towards Bull. The Qunari nodded and held Hawke back, through she screamed and kicked

"Stop them!" Erimond yelled. "We must complete the ritual!"

Everyone readied themselves for a fight, but the Inquisitor raised a hand. She took a few calm steps forward.

"Clarel. Stop this." She said. "If you complete that ritual, you'll do exactly what Erimond wants!"

"And what is that? Make the world free of blights? Hate me if you must, but to not stop the wardens from doing their duty!" The Tevinter yelled, annoyed

Clarel looked at the Inquisitor. She didn't want to kill any more wardens. But it was her duty to stop the blights...

"We make the sacrifices no one else would! Our warriors die proudly for the world that will never thank them!" She stated.

Stroud gritted his teeth. "And then your Tevinter ally will bind the mages to Corypheus!"

Clarel looked scared. "w-what... Corypheus? But he's dead!"

"Do not listen to them Clarel! They'll say anything to make you doubt!" Erimond grabbed Clarel's arm, but she quickly tugged it away. She rubbed her forehead, no longer sure what to believe. But she sighed. "Bright it through." she said with new found determination.

The mages channeled their mana and ripped the already thin veil. The rift showed the fade, the Black City in the distance, demons laughing... Clarel backed away. Andrielle and Stroud stepped forward. Hawke was still squirming in Bull's grasp.

"Please!" She screamed. "I've seen my fair share of blood magic! It's not worth it! Please, just listen!" She screamed

"I trained half of you myself! Don't make me kill you to stop this!" Stroud yelled, desperation obvious in his voice

"Be ready, Clarel. That demon is really worth your power." Erimond said, ignoring the taunting of the Inquisition's forced. He was smirking, already declaring himself victorious.

"The Grey Wardens have a proud history." Andrielle finally spoke up and hit the ground with her staff, to draw attention. "You stopped the blight at the Silent Plains. At Starkhaven. Hunter Fell. Ayesleigh. Denerim." She said and many eyes were directed at her. "This world owes you a debt it can never repay. I would not stop if you, if I didn't know you are being misused!" She exclaimed and hit the ground with her staff again.

The Wardens stared at the Qunari with disbelief. Then they turned to Clarel. She stared at the Qunari as well. Then she looked at Erimond, brow furrowing.

"Clarel, we have come so far! You're the only one who can do this!" The tevinter urged her.

"Perhaps we could test the truth of these charges, to avoid further bloodshed." Clarel said.

Erimond made a frustrated noise. "Or perhaps, I should bring in a more reliable ally." He muttered. Then he turned to face Andrielle. "My master thought you might come here, Inquisitor!" he yelled and hit the ground with his staff, just like Andrielle had did. "He sent me this, to welcome you!" he exclaimed, smirking.

The Red Lyrium Dragon roared, making Clarel back away in shock and fear. 

"Shit." Bull said. He put Hawke down.

"SCATTER!" The Inquisitor yelled and everyone jumped out of the spot they stood. The dragon has swooped there and had they still stood here, surely, most of the party would have been seriously injured.

"Clarel!" Andrielle yelled.

But the Warden-Commander was faster. She flung Lightning bolts at Erimond and the dragon. Once she caught the monster's attention, she gulped.

"Wardens, help the Inquisition!" she yelled and ran off, to lure the dragon away.

Just then the Rift spat our terrors and a Pride demon. With combined forced, Andrielle's party and the Wardens easily slaughtered the demons. "Stay here and kill any demons that come!" She commanded once the demons were gone and ran to the direction Clarel took off. Her whole party followed. They had to hide behind columns as the dragon poked her head in between them, trying to catch at least one of them. Kat's heartbeat accelerated. The head of the dragon was right next to her. But she gulped down her fear, yelled out and stabbed the dragon in the eyeball. It shrieked and pulled back. It didn't bother them the rest of the run to where Clarel was, with Erimond. He was standing at the end of the battlement, with nowhere to go. He flung fireballs at Clarel, but her barrier protected her.

"YOU! You destroyed the Grey Wardens!" She yelled, casting a Stonefist, making Erimond fall on his back.

But he laughed. "heh... you did that yourself, stupid bitch..." He said, getting up. "All I did was show you a bit of power... and you couldn't wait to get your hands bloody." He sneered.

Clarel's face lit up with fury. With a shockwave, she sent the magister flying back. The tevinter groaned in pain, his armor smoking from the spell. Clarel slowly approached him. 

"You could have served a new god..." he spat. 

"I will NEVER serve the blight!" she yelled, as Andrielle and her party ran into the spot Clarel was.

That was also the moment where the Archdemon swooped in and grabbed Clarel in her mouth and flew to the wall. The dragon spat the Warden Mage out and then slowly and threateningly approached her party. The were walking backwards to the edge of the battlement. Kat gulped. She knew what was coming and her acrophobia was certainly not a friend.

_in war... victory_

_in peace... vigilance_

_in death... sacrifice_

Those were Clarel's words, before she used the last of her power, to sent a Lightning bolt to the dragon, wounding her and making her fall, destroying the fragile bridge they were all standing on. Kat screamed, not knowing if anyone else screamed, really. All she saw, was a bright green light that consumed her.

 _Maker save us all_ she thought as she closed her eyes.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what to say XD I hope you enjoyed!  
> Next: Here Lies the Abyss: The Fade


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here Lies The Abyss: The Fade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh. I guess RL doesn't like to give me a break! On the bright side, I have pictures of Andrielle's cosplay! Follow the page for more ^^ https://www.facebook.com/FlooChan

Kat screamed her lungs out. Eyes were closed, her whole body curled into a ball as she shrieked her heart out. She didn't even notice that she wasn't even falling anymore; Bull had caught her before she hit the ground, but the Acrophobic didn't even open her eyes to see.

Andrielle stood up from hitting the ground and rubbed her forehead. Katherine wasn't the only was screaming. Cole was pacing in circles, pulling on his hat, as if he wanted to disappear inside it. 

Zariah was trying to safely get off the stone she stood... upside down. 

Cassandra was glaring at their surroundings, ready to strike.

Andrielle tightened her grip on her staff. While everyone was still out of place, she approached Kat and smacked her head with the staff. Then mage did the same to Cole.

"OW!" They both exclaimed, almost in perfect sync. They both stopped screaming and stared at Andrielle for quite a while.

Kat looked around. She realized that Bull was still holding her. She gasped, muttered an apology and pushed herself off, making her fall on her back. The girl groaned in pain, making Bull snicker.

Cole on the other hand, began to panic again. He began to pace in cirlces once more, whimpering, almost crying. The Herald grabbed his arm. "Cole! Look at me. What's wrong?"

"This is the fade!" Cole exclaimed and began to mutter "no" over and over again.

"This doesn't look like the fade I've been to..." Zariah said, helping Stroud off the rock he was standing on... sideways.

"Why is that wrong, Cole? Isn't it home?" Andrielle asked

"NO! I'm stuck! I...I can't! Why can't I...?" Cole whined, grabbing his hat and pulling on it. "This is wrong! This place is wrong!" He exclaimed. "I made myself forget, when I made myself real... but I know it wasn't like this!" He yelled.

"We fell... I probably opened a rift... so we're here physically..." Andrielle whispered.

"Physically? Oh goodie. Shall we find another Golden City?" Zariah smirked, but quickly shut up when Cassandra glared at her. 

"Whatever we do, I suggest we do it quickly and carefully." The Seeker stated

"Agreed! Kadan, no offense, but being dragged through demon town was NOT in the contract."

"Forgive me, love..." The Inquisitor sighed. She looked at the trembling Cole.

"Cole..." Kat suddenly joined the conversation. She approached the lost spirit and took his hand. "Can you feel my touch? It's real... you're here... with us... you're you... hold my hand..." She whispered. 

The boy flinched from the touch. He closed his eyes and sighed, feeling their skin touch. He gripped her hand, a bit too tightly, but Katherine endured. "I... can feel it... real... yes..." Cole whispered

"Will you be okay?" Andrielle asked.

"I'll watch him. We'll be fine." Kat promised.

The Inquisitor nodded and looked at Hawke. "Any suggestions about getting out?"

"The rift in the courtyard..." Stroud said. "Could we use that?"

"There was also a huge ass demon behind it. Keep your guards up, like the Seeker said."

"Well... let's go then." The redhead qunari said and lead the way. Cole and Kat stuck close to Bull, just in case. Kat kept holding his hand and whispering soothing words to him. Cole seemed calm, or calmer with her around, which allowed Andrielle to relax.

"You know, for a moment I thought we were dead. I was about to demand the chantry for an apology, this is _nothing_ like the Maker's bosom!" Zariah muttered. Bull laughed.

"This looks kinda like Adamant... and as odd as it sounds, it looks even worse than it." Andrielle said

"Fade always alters reality, right?" Kat asked.

"Usually, yes." Zariah nodded.

"They can't understand it, your world... they try to copy it, but it doesn't work." Cole said.

"I see..." Katherine murmured and sighed. "It's creepy." she added

"I hear that!" Zariah hummed, agreeing. She was striding up first, looking back at the gang over her shoulder. "Hey, why the long faces?" She suddenly asked, seeing people stop. She raised an eyebrow and looked in front of her. She was suddenly inches away from a image of the Divine. Her eyes widened, she yelped and jumped backwards.

Kat snickered a bit, but shut up once Hawke glared at her.

"Maker's Breath..." Stroud whispered.

Andrielle pushed Zariah aside and came closer to the Divine.

"I greet you Warden. And you, Champion." She said.

"Divine Justinia..." Riel whispered, eyes wide in shock and disbelief.

The old woman smiled a bit.

"I... I thought you were dead..." The Kossith whispered, confused.

"It's not her. It's a spirit. Or a demon." Stroud stated.

Kat looked at Cole. He didn't seem to care much about the Divine's presence. He was still breathing raggedly and mumbling something incoherent. She gave his hand a small squish, to reassure him. He looked at her, startled, but seemed to understand the comforting movement. Then the girl turned to group, who was still conversing with the Divine. 

"She will help us. We can trust her." She said.

"really? Still! It wouldn't be that hard to answer my question! It's easy! You're either human, spirit, demon or..." Hawke furrowed her brow. She didn't want to say it. Nor to believe it

"Dead." Andrielle finished for her.

The Divine continued to explain, that Riel's lost memory, the false calling, all that was caused by the Fear Demon that lurks there. She answered Riel's questions about Demons that serve Corypheus, the anchor, her identity, why is she helping, even if she wasn't too helpful.  The Inquisitor soon gave up on questions.  
"let's go" she said. Everyone nodded.

"These are your memories, Inquisitor. Touch them..." The divine said. 

The Herald hesitated. With great mistrust, she approached one of the green lights and slowly touched it with her fingers. She yelped a bit and then everyone heard voices. Kat wasn't surprised at all, but all others were. Riel quickly touched all other fragments and everyone saw the memory she lost.

Justinia was held in air by Wardens, while Corypheus boasted about his victory and power, how it is time for him to rule. He was using the Orb on the Divine and then the door was kicked in by Riel. "What's going on here?!" She yelled. Everyone looked at her and using the distraction, the divine smacked the Orb out of the Magister's hands. It rolled to the Kossith. The readhead scurried over to pick it up, Corypheus ran towards her and then... blank.

"What. The. Fuck." Bull said, obviously not okay with what just happened

"So your mark didn't come from Andraste... it came from the Orb and Corypheus's ritual." Stroud said

"I never said it was. I never agreed to this rumor. I am no holy figure, Stroud." Andrielle said, calmly, but coldness in her voice was obvious

"Corypheus wanted to rip open the Veil and enter the Fade, to the Black City. Not for the Old Gods. But for himself." The Divine explained. "When you disrupted the ritual, the Anchor was bestowed on you, instead." The Divine added.

"So it was like I said. Coincidence. No holy doing." Riel nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Let's move on." She added, turning her back to the Divine.

"You cannot leave this realm, until you get all that Nightmare took from you. You regained a small piece, but now, it knows you're here. Make haste. I will prepare the way." The Divine said and vanished.

Hawke squinted, looking skeptical. "Prepare the way." She mumbled. Zariah was pissed before that, but seemingly, her mood was entirely fouled by that.

"Something bothering you, Hawke?" Stroud asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I thought you might have been more concerned that it was the Grey Wardens that held down the Divine and were responsible for her death." She sneered.

"I assumed he had taken their minds, as we have seen him do before." Stroud said, relatively calmly. "Come now. We can argue once we get out."

"Oh don't worry, I fully intend to. If Sheyla is up in all this, I swear..." She muttered.

"We've not heard or seen the Warden Commander Amell. She went on a "Investigation" in Antiva last we heard from her." Stroud said.

"She better be up there, or I swear." Hawke kept muttering half-threats.

"Just move, you two." Riel sighed as she walked forward. The whole party moved forward. Bull kept complaining about the Fade and Demons, Cassandra was shocked about the Divine and Cole... Cole was quiet. He and Kat trailed after the party, quiet. But it didn't last long. Soon they were surrounded by demons and had to separate, to bring them down. And as last one fell, a dark, deep tone spoke, starling Kat.

"Ah.... we have visitors... Some silly horn-head you are, Inquisitor. Coming to get the terrors I kindly lifted from your shoulders? You should have thanked me and let your fear lay as it was, forgotten." Then the voice got angrier. "You think the pain will make you stronger? What fool filled your mind with such nonsense? The only one that grows stronger from your fear is ME. But by all means. Do get it back."

Riel tsk'd and continued forward. They found demons and puzzles. The Inquisitor wouldn't be her if she didn't stop to kill every demon and solve every puzzle, gather every single drop of knowledge. As they paced forward, the demon began to taunt again.

"Or maybe... I should be afraid? Of the mighty members of the Inquisition?" He laughed. "Are you afraid, Cole? I could help you forget the fear. You and I are very much alike." He said

"Cole..." Kat whispered, her hand squishing his palm again, as Cole was noticeably shaken. The Compassion look at their hands and then gulped.

"No." He whispered, but he sounded determined.

"You are nothing like him." Riel agreed.

"Oh? What about the Qunari? It will make a lovely host for one of my minions. Or maybe I will ride his body myself."

Bull got angry. "I'd like to see you try." He mumbled

"Kadan..." The Inquisitor whispered. "Well this just got much more personal. I will kill you, you hear me!" She yelled. But the Nightmare ignored her threat.

"Cassandra. Your Inquisitor is a fraud. And there is much more evidence that there is no Maker. All your faith is for naught." 

"Die in the Void, demon." Cassandra said, her eyes closed.

"Oh... and Katherine."

The blonde girl blinked and looked up. "Well, shoot away!" she said

"They will all leave you. Once they'll get bored, they will abandon you. Just like everyone else." The fear demon said.

"Was... that it? Really? Hah! You're nothing! Nothing compared to the demon that is my own mind! I tell myself worse every day!" She exclaimed, laughing bitterly. But the demon never replied.

"Katherine..." Riel whispered.

"No. Not now. Let's go." The young girl shook her head.

The Inquisitor remained quiet for a bit, but nodded and lead the way. They continued solving puzzles and killing demons, till the Nightmare spoke again.

"Warden Stroud. How does it feel to devote your whole life to the Wardens and then watch them fall? Or worse, that you're responsible for their destruction? When the next Blight comes, will they curse your name?" The demon spoke.

Stroud's jaw clenched. "With the Maker's Blessing, we will end this vile beast. Let's just go." He said.

And so they did. Zariah was about to comment how sad it was, since the Nightmare didn't target her, but she spoke too soon.

"Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you did mattered?" The Demon asked. Zariah's expression changed from amused to blank. "You couldn't even save your city. How do you expect to strike down a god? Fenris is going to die. Just like your family and everyone you ever cared about." 

Zariah exhaled. "Well... that's gonna get tiresome quickly. Oy! Demon, come out now! We may want to fight you!"

Kat nudged Hawke a bit. "Let's go. You won't die. And neither will he." she whispered

Zariah exhaled. "Yeah." she whispered and they followed the Inquisitor, who found more of her memories.

Riel was climbing a weird staircase, while the Divine watched from the top of it. Then the demons appeared... and the Divine gave her life to save the Kossith mage.

Riel was visibly shaken. "...it... was you." she whispered. "They thought it was Andraste... but it was the Divine sending me from the Fade... and then... you... she died..." Riel said, looking down. "I couldn't save her..."

The Divine nodded slightly. "Yes..."

"So this creature is simply a spirit." Stroud said, a bit disappointed

"Oh really? What tipped you off?" Zariah asked, sarcastic as always

"I am sorry, if I disappointed you."  the Divine said and Hawke looked down a bit. She then turned into a golden-glowing spirit.

"Are... you her? Did... you linger instead of passing on... to help me?" Riel asked.

"If that's the story you wish to tell... it's not a bad one." The spirit replied.

"All that we know from sure, is that Grey Wardens killed the Divine." Zariah stated, arms folded.

"Ri!" Kat exclaimed.

"I told you before, their minds were taken by Corypheus." Stround countered, both ignoring Katherine. "We can discuss this back at Adamant."

"Assuming there's an Inquisition left! Maybe the Wardens killed them all!"

"Ri, stop!" Kat yelled.

"How dare YOU judge us? You tore Kirkwall apart and started the Mage Rebellion!" Stroud sneered

"To protect innocent mages! Not madmen drunk on blood magic!" Zariah yelled, shoving Stroud a bit. "But you'd ignore that! Because you can't have a world without Wardens! But maybe that's what we NEED." She continued to yell.

"They're corrupt... I fear that it might be the only choice." Cassandra said.

"They hurt people." Cole whispered.

"They could still help." Bull shook hid head.

"STOP THIS!" Riel and Kat yelled.

All turned to them. 

"This is not the time. And not the place!" The Inquisitor smacked Zariah's head with her staff. Zariah let out an "Ow!". Cole flinched subconsciously.

"You both are right and wrong--"

"Inquisitor..." Hawke whispered, looking behind the Kossith. Riel raised an eyebrow and looked over her shoulder and felt her blood freeze. There was a huge demon there, dangerously nearing them.

"Oh... Oh dear..." Kat whined, wide-eyed. 

"How can we fight that thing?!" Zariah exclaimed. 

"Go! Fight the Nightmare and escape!" Suddenly the spirit that imitated the divine appeared and distracted the demon. As it stomped off, it revealed a Qunari-sized monstrous creature.

"THAT I can fight!" Bull yelled and charged. 

All of them got ready and followed Bull into battle. Kat remained close to Cole, worrying and muttering soothing words whenever she got the chance. Cole seemed to be relieved by it, as he loosened up and struck the demon with ease.

Zariah was the first to fall back. She got hit by a demon minion and retreated to Riel.

"Hawke!" The Inquisitor exclaimed, about to heal the mage, but the short raven-head just shook her head. "I'm fine! Focus!"

Riel frowned but nodded. She cast a barrier over them and cast Chain Lightning, to shock anyone that approached them. 

Zariah was collapsed at her side, casting weak healing spells to heal the large gash on her stomach. 

Riel saw that Hawke was too weak to close the gash. She grit her teeth.

"I'M FALLING BACK!" She yelled. She helped Hawke on her feet and they got to the nearest cover. 

"I'll keep you safe." Kat whispered, suddenly jumping to them. But she didn't stay - she leaped on a nearby demon, stabbing her twin blades into the back and evading quickly. She did so every time someone got too close to the mages.

Riel sat Zariah down and began to heal the gash. Hawke was panting madly, wincing and hissing in pain.

"Hang in there, Hawke." Andrielle whispered. 

"Holding, I'm holding." She whispered. 

"Inquisitor! Hurry up, the demon is down!" Cassandra exclaimed. 

Kat helped Zariah up.

"Let's go." She said.

And they did. They all ran to the rift but before they got there, the horrifying demon appeared and lingered.

"Oh shit. It's back!" Bull yelled.

"Go. I'm already hurt... I'll... guh... distract him..." Hawke whispered, pushing herself off Kat.

"Ri..." Kat whined. 

"No, Hawke. I will stay. This is my duty. Besides... you have to tell your elf." Stroud shook his head.

Hawke looked down. "I can't let you stay..."

"Riel... please..." Kat whined, looking at the Inquisitor. "Ri has to..." she whispered. 

Andrielle looked torn. "..Stroud.." she whispered. 

"Understood. Do well..."

Kat sighed in relief and dragged Ri forward.

"NO!" Hawke yelled, fighting, but Kat didn't back down. Zariah helplessly watched Stroud keep the demon's attention before she was pushed through the rift.

Next thing she knew, she was on the cold stone floor of Adamant. Her stomach turned and she threw up.

"Hawke!" Varric exclaimed. He was the first to find the shaken up party. He scuttled to Zariah and kept her hair out of her face as she vomited her lunch out.

Kat was watching, confused and sad. She looked around for Cole, but she saw him storm off to hide.

Riel and Bull were checking each other for wounds.

Cassandra watched Hawke, sympathetically. 

It didn't take long for Fenris to find them.

"Ri!" He yelled and pushed Varric away from her. The mage had just finished emptying her stomach so she didn't fight as the elf picked her up, bridal style.

"Easy broody. She doesn't need more shaking." Varric said, gently. 

Fenris nodded slightly and looked at his lover.

"When you vanished... I thought..."

"I promised..." Zariah whispered and gently caressed his cheek.

Fenris sighed and closed his eyes. "That you did..."

"I suggest we all get back to Skyhold. My men can manage here." The Inquisitor said.

"Wait. What about the Wardens?" Cassandra said.

"What about them?" Riel asked

"You cannot let them stay here after they did this. You should exhile them." Fenris hissed.

"No!" Kat exclaimed. "That would mean Carver and Sheyla too!"

"Not... Carver..." Ri murmured. 

"I am sorry, Fenris, but no. We need the Wardens. I will forgive them, but they will be under strict watch." Riel said and left, leaving no place to question her.

Kat stayed close to Fenris and Ri, who followed after the Inquisitor. She knew it was the right choice, even if many disagreed. They'll see though, won't they?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: aftermath and some HawkexFenris fluff


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here Lies Abyss Aftermath ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo sorry for taking forever to update ^^; These months were a chaos to me. I moved out from my parents home, lost contact to all my family, switched schools, lost my phone, been on a rollercoaster in general, but now it seems better and I feel more motivated to write ^^

The dinner is... awkward to say the least. I'm at the table with Riel in the Main Hall, pushing my food back and forth on the plate. Our table is otherwise empty... it feels lonely, especially when we have the biggest table in the whole hall...

Cole isn't here with us. He doesn't eat, but he usually kept us company... but now he's going crazy... with reason, sure, but still... he doesn't talk to anyone and who knows where he's hiding right now. Has been ever since we got back to Skyhold.

Bull ate with his Chargers in the Inn.

Solas isn't here, but that isn't much of a surprise either.

Vivienne never came down to eat with us 'peasants', so of course, no sign of her.

Dorian got injured, so went to rest early.

Blackwall stayed with the Wardens, promising to return soon after.

Sera's hell knows where. No one is surprised if she's missing at dinner time, though, she's probably off pranking someone.

Varric's at another table. He's listening to Zariah's boasting, along with Fenris and Cassandra.

Riel's feeling awful. I can tell. I can feel it, as if it's my own. The disappointment... fear... feeling of being rejected. Just like me, she's stirring the soup absentmindedly, staring holes through the ceramic dish. She knows very well that Cole, Solas and many others are angry with her decision... though the Inquisitor gave a rat's ass about Solas's opinion, the betrayed look on Cole's face when he said 'but they hurt people!' got to her, bad. Bull's with her on it, but... his absence right now makes er feel more miserable.

"Riel..." I murmur, in hopes of somehow clearing up her mood.

The Qunari flinches and lets go of the spoon. She seems to have completely forgotten about me. The mage turns to me, gives me a gentle, yet sad smile. "Don't worry... I just need some rest." she says, attempting to calm me down, but we both know that's a lost cause. She then stands up and disappears behind the door leading to her quarters. I glance at her bowl with soup. She didn't eat a bit.

I can't contain the sigh that escapes my mouth. I can't help, now can I? Pretty useless... just like I always was. I can understand why Cole gets frustrated when not helping... it's unnerving... I let my eyes shut and I muse about it for a while, but quickly shake the thoughts off. Cole has enough on his mind than having me belitteling myself. Suppressing the negavite thoughts, I finish my meal and return to my quarters. It's a tiny room, barely fitting in a bed and a dresser, but I feel safe here. I look up at the sky through the slight cracks in the ceiling and slowly drift off to sleep...

Little did I know, that Cole was sitting on the very roof I just looked up to...

 

~ ~ ~

 

Zariah didn't drink anything aside from water. She thought it went unnoticed, but in fact, everyone did. Though the speculations varried greatly.

The oblivious Cassandra didn't think too much into it. She briefly considered that the Champion simply felt ill from the fade, or didn't drink much in general. She did see Ri throw up her lunch once she jumped out of the rift, after all... besides, the Seeker was too star-struck to actually think much of it.

The ever worried lover Fenris knew that something must have been terribly wrong. Hawke could drink anyone under the table and then drink some more. She won every drinking competition and every attempt Varric makes, to get his money back. She never refused alcohol... not until now. But he decided to interrogate her about it later, preferably without an audience to watch them.

The all-knowing dwarf knew exactly what was going on here. He was Zariah's closest and most treasured friend after all and that isn't going to change. He was the first one, to whom Hawke came to for advice. Though the Dwarf couldn't give her much of that. Back then, he smiled knowingly at her and said to do whatever she felt was right. Right now, he was grinning just as mysteriously as he did back then, listening to Zariah's story about a shitload Qunari and her overly dramatic hand gestures. He and Fenris knew for a fact, that all of it was way overexaggerated, but Cassandra was so into it, the men didn't want to spoil it.

Ri and Fenris retired for the night as soon as the story was over. They were both tired and glad to have a bit of privacy. The room given to Hawke was small, but they were used to worse. After learning of Fenris's presence, Josephine offered a bigger room, but they both refused. It was just fine in their eyes. A luxury, even, compared to the last year...

They both slipped out of their armor, helping each other with some buckles or knots. Neither of them said a word, such sort of thing was routine to them. Neither knew what to say, though both wanted to talk to one another. But the silence soon got on Zariah's nerves.

"so... the Inquisition, eh? Isn't all that bad, now is it?" She asked.

 "For an organisation lead by a Qunari, you mean?" Fenris countered her question. Zariah clicked her tongue. She expected this. Neither of them held much love for the Qunari, after all.

"Well... she's not really all that... Qunari-y, is she?" the Mage shrugged, ruffling her hair, massaging her aching scalp. Fenris never gave her a reply, so she pulled an old, but warm tunic over her head to have some cloth over her smalls. Her elf didn't bother, he prefered to sleep in just his smalls, but it bugged Ri for whatever reason. She guessed, that sleeping in the same room with Carver and Bethany had something to do with it. As she played around with her hair, the Lyrium Ghost strode over to her, grabbed her chin and made her look him in the eyes.

"now, tell me what is wrong." he demanded.

"Wrong? whatever do you mean?" Hawke attempted to jest, but the stern look in his eyes and the little growl made her stop. She exhaled. "What exactly are you refering to?" she murmured

"Your stomach. You threw up. You saw much worse and your stomach is made out of steel. I have been following you for years. I had yet to experience you do... _that_. You refused the pints this evening as well. Are you ill?" He questioned her, still holding her chin between his fingers. "You ran off without me. You were skittish to the point of idiocy as well, weeks before you left as well. I may be oblivious to much, but I am not blind, Ri. Tell me what is amiss." he spoke a bit gentlier now, his fingers now reaching to caress her cheek.

The mage looked down, her sarcasm disappearing. She made another exhale and muttered a few curses under her breath. How was she supposed to talk about this? She looked weak and vulnerable... something only Fenris was allowed to see.

"There... is something, I guess. I... just don't... know how to talk about it. I mean... I... don't know if it's really... 'wrong'..." She whispered, truthfully.

"You're a master of words, Ri. I'm sure you can talk about this as well." he murmured, trying to reassure her, but it didn't do much.

"...sit down first...?" she asked.

Fenris was reluctant, but complied. He let go of her face and planted himself on the nearby bed, looking at his lover expectantly. Hawke kept stalling, but he let her. Some things did need time.

"Don't flip out!" She warned him, pointing at him, threatningly.

Fenris snorted and nodded, humoring the woman. He learned to control his temper over the years. His emotions too. Ri helped him. She always did.

"Look... remember, back when we left Kirkwall, Isabela took us on her ship? We met my cousin, Sheyla, the Warden remember...?"

"Yes. Crystal." he nodded.

"And she found out she was with child... with Zev."

"yes..?" Fenris felt confused. Where was this going?

"Soo... well... uhm... imagine that... right now, you're Zev... and I'm Sheyla?" Ri tried, already shrinking in her spot, waiting for a scream, exclaimation, or whatever. But none of that came.

Fenris was shocked. First, she was afraid. This brave, head-strong woman feared nothing... and second... she was implying...

"So I don't know what to do! Sheyla has it nice and cozy, living there and here, earning money! Nobody knows about her, much! Not how she looks like, anyway! Me, everyone knows, I-I how will we raise a child? Can we raise a kid? I-I'm scared!" she exclaimed and slumped on the bed next to him, hiding her face under her palms. She was shaking, probably close to crying. "I asked Varric, but he just told me to tell you and then I just had to get away and forgot to burn the letter..." she added, shaking her head.

Fenris was stunned. Speechless. And it scared the mage even more.

"Say something! Anything!" She whined. Those were the same words she used as he came to comfort her about Leandra. He didn't know what to say back then either.

"How... long?" he managed to ask.

"About a month, I think. I'm not much of a healer, you know that..." she murmured, trying to grin, but she only ended up grimacing.

Fenris sought her hand and squeezed it. "What will you do?" he asked

"How should I know?! I asked Varric, and, I repeat, he told me to talk to you. He said he had somewhere safe to get us... but still... we're fugitives! And...And I'd be a terrible mother..." she said, looking down.

"I highly doubt that. You're silly, but strong and caring. You know what's right and wrong. Me... I... wouldn't fit the spot." Fenris shook his head

Ri looked up. "Do you want a kid?"

"I... can't say I ever thought of it. I assumed due to the marks, I was unable...but... I think I would like to keep it... I wouldn't want to get rid of it."

"I... I wouldn't either..." The mage admitted. "so... are... are we going to be parents, then?" she murmured

"I... suppose so." Fenris replied.

"It sounds to unreal... so weird..."

"that it does..."

Hawke wrapped her arms around his waist, lying her head on his shoulder. "It's not any less scary... but... I'm glad... that you know now..." she murmured

"I shall protect you... do not worry." Fenris soother her, planting a kiss on her silky black hair.

"I know." Ri nodded.

"Rest." The elf murmured, pushing her down on her back into the soft mattress. "You need it. I don't recall fade visits being your favorite sport."

"They aren't" The mage sighed and got under her covers.

 

They didn't speak much that night. Or fooled around. They just laid in bed, holding one another in their arms, both thinking about the future, about their child, till sleep consumed them and they both entered the realm of dreams - the Fade.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooo sorry for disappearing. Life is a huge bitch.

"Katherine.... Katherine... Wake up, or you'll miss her. That will make you sad..." Cole spoke, hovering over the sleeping girl, gently nudging her shoulder, even if he really didn't want to. But he knew she wanted to see Hawke off.

Luckily for the Compassion, Kat slowly roused from her sleep, eyelids cranking open, body rising to a sitting position. "...huh...?" she mumbled, sleepily. The young woman was rather disoriented, her fist rising to rub her grayish blue eyes, her hair still sticking to every direction. "Cole?" she finally realized the reason why she was awake, staring at the spirit boy with confusion.

"Go, to the gate... She's leaving..." Cole said, watching as Kat's face twisted from sleepy confusion to wide-awake shock. The girl jumped out her bed and quickly threw some clothes on over her sleepwear and stormed out of the room, leaving him behind. Compassion didn't mind though; he had his own agenda... he just wanted to make sure Katherine didn't get sad... not if he could help. Thus the spirit went over to Solas' study...

 

~ ~ ~

 

"Ri!" Kat exclaimed, seeing Hawke, Fenris and Varric talk on the bridge. Varric had a knowing smile on his face. "Morning, Riddles." he said with a smile.

"And here I wanted to leave before anyone notices. Less drama." Hawke said, winking at Katherine, who grinned in response, nodding. "You won't shout, right, Kat?" Zariah inquired.

"Of course not. I just wanted to see you two off... Cole woke me up for it..." the outerworlder admitting, smiling still. She made a mental note of thanking her spirit friend later... she would have kicked herself hard if she overslept Hawke's departure. "Ri... Fenris.... take care of yourselves, will you?" The girl asked

"Of course~ I always watch out for danger! But it watches for me just as much, you know." Ri said with a silly grin, winking. Her playful act didn't work on Kat though. She turned her head to Fenris. "Please... please, keep her safe. I'd hate to know she was hurt... or even dead..." Katherine whispered, worry glinting in her eyes.

Fenris was taken aback by the concern of the outerworlder. It was genuine, gentle concern what Kat was showing. Perhaps, just as Varric had said, the two riddle-speaking rogues were just alright... not that Fenris would show it, though. "I will keep her from harms way. Though I do not do it for you, rest assured, she will not get hurt while I can do something about it." the elf nodded at Katherine. He saw the relief that settled in her being and watched as the blue eyes wandered to Hawke.

Ri seemed rather embarrassed by the ordeal. "I am not that helpless." she rolled her eyes, pouting just a bit, despite actually enjoying the affection.

"Maybe you two should go, before someone starts crying. I hate goodbyes." Varric finally joined the discussion. He knew that Ri would get a bit too emotional if this continued and he was fairly sure that would make Kat cry with her.

"Agreed. Let us not waste daylight, Ri." Fenris said, nudging his companion's shoulder, making Hawke nod. "Goodbye, Varric, Kat. I hope we see each other again soon... and don't you dare die on me, got it?" she threatened playfully... but all of them knew she meant those words. "I don't have much friends to lose." she mumbled less playfully, letting her charming mask slip for a split second, before shaking her head, black locks following along with the motion.

"We'll be fine, Hawke." Varric assured. "Have fun in Weishaupt." he added. Ri nodded and looked at Fenris. After exxhanging another round of goodbyes, they both left.

Varric sighed. "That woman is really something." he said. "Indeed..." Kat agreed. They both stayed there, watching as the Champion and her Lover disappeared down the road, chattering and bickering, occasionally brushing against one another, with the tenderness typical to them. Neither were too fond of public displays of affection after all.

"Let's go, Riddles. You'll freeze your ass off here." Varric gently patted the girl's waist. The young woman nodded and turned her back to the path Hawke just took, but it didn't erase the sad expression on her face. All will be well... right?

 

~ ~ ~

 

As Varric and Katherine entered the dining hall, they found Riel there, sipping on some herbal tea, with freshly baked bread on her plate and a freshly written report to read in her hand. Kat smiled a bit, sighing. The Vashoth never stopped working, now did she? Kat sat down next to Andriel; no doubt Varric would do the same. "Working, Riel?" the blonde asked, smiling.

"Well... in theory, no. I'm merely looking over some paperwork Josie gave me... It's about an amulet that would help Cole be safe from binding." The Inquisitor explained, taking another sip of her tea. She did not notice how Katherine's expression darkened. "...did he... ask Solas to?" she asked, quietly, but it was enough for Riel to pick it up. The redhead slowly blinked, lowering the paper she was holding. "...yes.. but... how did you...?" she asked, confusedly, but seeing Kat's expression, she realized that asking her was for naught. "...Would this amulet truly work?" the Herald inquired

Kat sighed. "Yes... and no..." she mumbled. "No straight answer out of you, Riddles?" Varric smirked, being quiet up until now.  
"It can work on Cole, but it won't... Just... wait for it..." Katherine said. "I know in my heart, that what you will choose is the best option, Riel." she added, making the Vashoth blink and nod again. "Thank you, for your faith, Katherine." she said.  
"...Did Cole go back to his usual spot?" The blonde asked.  
"I... didn't look... but probably, yes..." Riel tilted her head, trying to remember if she saw it, but then shook her head; the Inquisitor wasn't paying attention. She mentally scolded herself, Cole was in a state of despair, she should have paid more attention...

"I'll go talk to him." Katherine stood up. Varric and Riel both frowned; the girl had not even touched her meal, but understood her concern... one skipped meal could be forgiven.  
"Yes... please do." Adaar said  
"Calm the kid down, if you can." The dwarf agreed, making Kat smile. They both trusted and had faith in her... faith, that she hopefully wouldn't betray.

Excusing herself, she made her way out of the Skyhold's spacious chambers to the tavern, climbing up the stairs, deep in thought about what she should say to Cole. But as she climbed the last step, she realized there was no sign of Compassion. "...Cole? Can we talk?" The blonde asked, walking closer to the crates, sitting down on one. After getting no reply, she sighed. "Alright, I'll wait. You shouldn't be scared though... Riel will get the amulet... it won't work at first, but it will all sort out." Kat said to the empty room. Again, nothing. Silence.

"Cole... remember that one song that we listened to yesterday? 'Remember who you are. If you lose yourself, your courage soon will follow." Kat said. "It is scary... I know... but you are Cole. You are helpful, kind, compassionate Cole. That will not change." Pulling on leg on the crate, closer to her chest, she waited again.

"...Katherine..." she head his voice behind her. The girl squeaked and jumped a bit, head snapping to look over her shoulder, to see the familiar face of the spirit boy. "...what will happen?" he asked, quietly.  
"only if you promise to not tell anyone." Kat settled back down on the crate. Seeing Cole nod, she sighed.  
"You will have a choice... to be more human, like us. You'll be real-er, you will learn more... but it will hurt..." Kat quietly explained. "Or to be just a spirit... you'll be free, painless... but you'll forget everything you've done. Rhys... Evangeline... Eventually, us. You'll forget why you are Cole..." Kat looked down.

"But... I am Cole... why would I forget..." Cole seemed confused, but seeing Kat shake her head, he didn't press her further. Instead they sat there in silence, enjoying the comfort of each other's

 

 ~ ~ ~

 

It was another moment of them sitting in silence when Riel's blood-red hair came into vision. Cole and Katherine would do that a lot this week, mostly because the Spirit was scared of being alone, yet didn't want to see anyone either. Neither of them went on any missions either; Riel was unsure if beinging Compassion would have been that smart and Kat volunteered to keep an eye on him. But today would mark the end of it.

"Cole, Katherine, we found the amulet." The Inquisitor's voice was calm, but still had a hint of excitement. "Would you like to try it on?" She offered it to the spirit, expecting him to take it without question.

"Yes! But not here..." Cole jumped down from the crate and walked past the inquisitor, making her blink in surprise and turn around. Kat stood up as well, ready to follow the spirit, already knowing where he wanted to go. "I like it here... I need to go somewhere else... in case it becomes sharp." Compassion explained, looking at the two women. The blonde nodded a bit, understanding him, probably better than anyone else and walked forward, to him. Riel seemed a bit confused, but did not question it, she just followed them both to Solas' hideout.

As soon as he was through the door, before Solas could even realize what was going on, Cole spoke. "What do I do with it?" he asked, a bit frightfully, but also hopeful.  
Solas rose from his chair, eyeing Riel and Kat before he turned his attention back to the spirit. "Found one of the amulets? Excellent." the elf stated and walked closer to Cole. "May I?" his sharp eyes glanced towards the Inquisitor, the strained atmosphere between them rather obvious.  
"Of course." Riel said calmly. She did not like Solas or his ways, he always rubbed her the wrong way, but she acted polite, as did he. She handed him the talisman, now watching as the Dreamwalker inspected it. "It is simple enough. Cole puts it on, I charge it with magic and he should be protected."

Kat was quiet. She knew very well it will not be that simple, but saying it would not have been wise; it would have scared Cole further. Instead, Riel spoke, but not the words Kat would have said. "Are you ready, Cole?" she asked, gently.  
Compassion stared at his feet for a while longer, before inhaling sharping and looking up. "They can't make me a monster." he stated, firmly. The inquisitor nodded a bit and then looked at Solas, as if signaling him to proceed. The mage gave Cole amulet and began channeling magic. Kat moved behind the spirit and stretched her arms out... and as soon as she did, there was a discharge of magic, that thew Cole back, into Kat's arms, making him yelp in both surprise and slight pain.

"I've got you, Cole..." the girl whispered. Both Solas and Riel stared at her in surprise; did she really knew this would happen? Before anyone could ask her anything, Varric walked in, confused. "What was that... and what are you doing to the kid?" His brow furrowed in annoyance. The Compassion himself seemed rather out of it, still leaning against Kat for support. It took him a few seconds to actually speak up. "Stopping blood mages like the demons at Adamant... but it didn't work..." he seemed dejected, finally standing up straight, relieving Katherine from his weight.

Solas sighed a bit, his expression more curious than worried. "Something is interfering with the enchantment." he stated, making Kat roll her eyes. "Really, Solas, I wouldn't have thought..." she uttered, making the elder Elf glare at her.  
"yeah, something like Cole not being a demon?" Varric folded his arms.  
"To be fair... I am still unsure what Cole is, exactly..." Riel piped in. Even as her knowledge as a mage, always being curious in subjects spirits and demons, she still couldn't tell.  
Solas seemed irritated by it all. "Regardless of his special circumstances, Cole remains a spirit." He stated, as if trying to end the discussion.  
"...Or is that what you want him to be?" Kat's eyes narrowed. No, she wasn't dropping this and it seemed to annoy Solas further. He opened his mouth to respond, but Cole began to pace around.

"I don't matter!" he interrupted any that wanted to speak. "Just lock away the parts of me that someone else could knot to make me follow!" He said, pacing in circles.  
"Shh... Cole... concentrate...what's wrong... where do we need to go... tell them..." Kat was the one to approach him, again trying to comfort the spirit boy. It seemed to be working, bevause he calmed his pacing and turned quiet. "A soft blanket covering, but it catches, tears... I'm the wrong shape? There's... something..." He turned around and pointed into a direction. "there... that way..." he said. Kat nodded a bit.  
"well, let's see if we can pinpoint the location on the map--" Riel started, but Katherine shook her head. "Redcliff." she said. "The thing making Amulet not work is in Redcliff."

Riel seemed a bit shocked but after an exhale, she nodded. "Alright. I suggest we gear up and leave as soon as possible."  
"...Will you come with me? All of you?" Cole asked.  
"Of course..." Kat nodded.  
"Sure." Varric agreed.  
"alright... let's meet at the gate then." The Inquisitor said. Cole left, but the four didn't move. 

"I get it, Chuckles, you like spirits...But he came into our world to be a person, so let him be one." Varric said, making Kat nod in approval. Her eyes turned to Riel, who exhaled a bit.  
"If we find a way to help Cole without taking away who he is... I'll take it. But it is obvious that he needs our help." the Vashoth spoke.  
"Not saying we do nothing, Mess, but that ritual only works on demons, right?" The dwarf was quick to explain his point.  
Solas seemed outraged. "This is not some fanciful story, Child of the Stone!" he said, looking down at the story teller. "We cannot change our nature by wishing." he stated, coldly.  
Kat scoffed a bit, but didn't say anything. The dwarf remained calm, however "You don't think?" he raised an eyebrow.  
The elf seemed fed up with the discussion. "however we deal with the problem, first step is to track down whatever is interfering with the enchantment. I suggest we do that, now." he said and left.

"At least I can agree with that. Let's go." Riel rubbed her forehead and turned on her heel as well. The sooner she would be done with it, the better...


End file.
